Jimmie Whisman

Calvin Klein's that wouldn't sell elsewhere. And she's dragging that fucking cart, that wagon, that foldable wagon. They have Adidas sweatsuits. Do you watch? Should I get one? Do you want just the pants or do you want the matching set? It's only $38 for both.

Manipulating the body after post-mortem is so rare. It doesn't happen that much.

Really?

Yeah.

Why?

This is Executive Producers Gary Howard, Seta and Bug, Amanda Brennan, Cam and Wendy Koshwara. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Jordan Bennett and Simon. They made it back to England. Happy travels, man. Good for you guys. They go tomorrow.

And Jared McMillan, thank you guys for everything you do. You're fucking amazing. Other producers this week are Happy Hour in Hobson, New Mexico, Janice Hill, Peyton Meadows, Adam with no last name, Leslie with no last name, Bad A. Davis. I think that means they're... I think the A stands for ass, James. I really do. I really believe that. Nice.

Saquon Person. Rose with no last name. Lacey Renee. Heather Kirkwood. Riley Rumpus. Leah Baskett. Yep. Baskett. Brooke Dolan. Stephanie DeShazo. Brian Watkins. Courtney Rathbun. AJ Baldonza. Yep. Justin Boone, Karen Fretting, S. Valere, Valerie. Valerie? Not ween-eye? Not ween-eye? I don't know what you're trying to get me to say. Yeah, maybe it's not weenie. I don't know, James.

Notorious G-Man. I got that one. Chris with no last name. Jimmy P. Angie with no last name. Cody Pinkstock. Lori Davis. Burgundy Escobar. Valerie Ayala. Noah H. Colleen Sams. Terry with no last name. Lindsay Benedict. Caroline Moore. Oh, boy. Hajni. Hajni with no last name. Hunter with no last name. Megan Grice. Maybe Grise. Who knows? Maybe it's Grise. Courtney Douglas. Elevate. Thank you.

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Yeah, wiggle his hips.

A bunch of male dogs walking around with their dicks out.

Because the whores are just traipsing across the stage. Oh, look at them. These bitches are everywhere.

Throw cornhole in your search engine.

In a 2012 Honda Civic that screeches when you shift gears.

Oh, God, the poor bastard.

Look up early for this shit.

The fries, James. You're making hash browns and shitty eggs.

I used to have to take the trash out of the pizza joint and that yeast and milk.

That bad shit soaking in there forever. And then people just throw the bag into the back room. And then once a day, somebody has to go back there to take the, and you're throwing like 13 bags of giant amounts of trash that are leaking. It's so gross.

Sour juice.

It's never been a mannequin ever.

Saw it and walked closer.

I'd call 911 and say, it's never a mannequin.

Twisted up like that?

Just a dumping and the body rested like that.

So what the shit?

Waterfield Russell.

Oh, she wants out of everything.

Really?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

It's the deepest creek you've ever been in.

Thank you.

Why is that, James?

Yeah, but if you speed art up, James, you put clay all over the fucking place.

Certainly lends to some bizarre behavior.

You're giving him all the responsibility of a kid in detention, though.

That's all the punishment at the school, and you're making him do it at the police station.

Got his own cubby at the station, too. How about it?

Yeah, I mean, wow. Weird, right? The first black cop that I think I... was fucking Carl Winslow. I don't know. No, no, maybe it was the other Winslow in Police Academy.

At all.

I didn't see cops that much.

Dudes that were in the military, got it discharged, and they're like, now what?

I don't know. First black cop I saw was Hightower.

Really?

Yeah.

Let's leave out my hemorrhoids.

That's not mine.

I just picked it up and put it under my arm.

They got 50 miles away?

Porny, yeah.

Pornish.

Yeah. What the hell is going on? Why are they crawling through? What are they doing?

And that's how we snuck in?

Yeah. They just walked out of the bathroom and right into the right on in.

burning a hole in Big Daddy.

One ran and took the other guy with him.

Yeah, I didn't know where to watch it. I know those existed. Around, but I didn't know where to go to see it.

How do you get to Tucson?

Yeah.

Right. What one?

You made me read it. I fucking hate it.

Horse collision and polo.

Sure.

That's a crazy suicide.

But it worked?

There's got to be a door there somewhere.

It's amazing that he has so many adult dreams.

He already knows that if the light's on inside the room, anybody in the room can't see outside the window.

He doesn't like to be called black?

Hell yeah.

Especially the thorn.

You can't report your dignity stolen or your safety or your, uh, your comfort in your own home, your peace of mind, your violated.

It's the guy that just picked him up and refuses to admit that it's his.

And actively and aloud proclaims it.

That's helpful.

That's a couple of friends.

My old stepdad and his broad.

Yeah.

George's mom's got it going on.

Yeah, well, you've got to keep the name because otherwise people won't know that it's the same shop.

I can't believe it. We're just like them. Wow. Just different colors.

Thank you.

You're not a Costco shopper, are you?

Thank you.

A pallet of kegs of cheese puffs. It's crazy the amount that they sell people.

In retrospect, by 18, everybody should know, oh, this is going to go so bad for this kid.

They get into coke, too, at that point and have a terrible drug problem.

He's still by 35. They've got three kids.

You can go under the house if you want.

There's certainly protection from the elements. Jesus.

I don't know. 97 of May.

Hang on to that better.

It would be so bad for him.

He's just adorable.

He's not his brother at all.

Oh, shit.

He's a thoughtful fella.

It's kind of genius, though, because how many times have you ever woken up and you got cash? It's almost gaslighting. Yeah. Almost, but not quite that much. I can't steal anything from you. You spent it probably. I don't know.

Yeah, or they'll just- Did I have 40 or 20?

You certainly had 20, yeah. Yeah. Because if I had 40 and somebody stole any, they'd steal all 40.

Already doing less than a week.

Oh, he's not light-skinned?

It's the behavior.

It's almost racist, yeah.

Oh, no.

Not a lot of boarded up houses.

Just right out of the till.

That's the only thing they're good for.

No shit.

I caught him.

They've taken your fingerprints. They know your name. They know your face. They know you.

Yeah.

Boost probably has a crazy effect on that guy.

That wasn't even, I don't know. That was scary. It's scary to see a little guy that hammered.

I don't like it at all.

And if we don't look at them as children, we look at them with- Our brains. Yeah. Yeah. Just with the care of a child.

Anybody could have done that.

Didn't make a paper mache head like Alcatraz. He just fucking kicked a window and walked out.

That's more on you than it is him. Jesus, you gave him an opportunity to break a window.

Oh, my God.

So much for the anal sex.

Hell yeah.

To set yourself apart as lower than Denny's clientele.

Yeah, remember when that was a thing? Wow.

They had a Nintendo one.

Is that how much those fuckers were making?

Willamette Valley.

That's a lot of quarters.

What did he do at Black Angus?

He's really running the gamut on the bottom rung of whatever it is the restaurant offers.

They're taking pent up, guys not getting laid, all that.

Is that what they smell?

I'm getting notes of gutted venison. No, that's vomit.

Yeah. Was that rib cage of a deer? No, it's vomit.

Oh.

You got to have that.

The purse is imperative no matter where you go, especially if you're going out. You're not with somebody. You're by yourself. You got to be able to pay for drinks and shit. Yeah.

It's over twice what the average. Wow.

Somebody had some extra kids and just added some bedrooms.

As far as I'm sleeping, I felt gross.

It was dark. I don't know.

Or was it vomit?

3,000 square feet of this fucking window.

Wow.

230.

Yeah, because there's a bad man on the loose.

You got no land.

$12,950,000.

Here's a four by two that I cut out of the bathroom.

Sure, of course.

Wine time, yeah.

Oh.

I like it. It's fascinating that Costco uses Kirkland as their brand. And it's store brand, so it's like the lower rung. But they are treating Kirkland like it's coveted.

Just because there's a murderer and serial killer that breaks into a place doesn't mean that every burglary is him.

You tell me Kirkland wine in the street. I'm like, I know the people that are going there.

Yeah, it was black.

All right.

Really?

It'd be guys in, like, cut-off sweatpants.

Oh, shit.

She's verbose as fuck, so she's going to write a book of some sort.

Everywhere you've heard of it.

This week's executive producer, Gary Howard, Jordan Bennett. Jordan Bennett and Simon, they're on their way back to England.

Neil and Blow Me is having a lovely day.

They think that I didn't want to. They for sure know that I knew that.

Tara Lathan, a little turpentine will do the trick, James. That's a Captain Ron joke.

Stephanie Chaitin, chatting maybe. Danae Lynn, thank you, Danae. Good to see you.

Other producers this week are Happy Hour in Conroe, Texas, checking in. Good to see you, Happy Hour. Why, thank you. Liz Vasquez, Peyton Meadows, Janice Hill, Tiffany Gonzalez, Seda Morris, Jen with two Ns, no last name.

Yeah, they're terrific people.

Mindy Bybert. Bo-Yo Nasty. Okay. I don't know.

I don't know. Brielle Hurd. Amendola with no last name. Amandala.

Amendola is certainly a last name.

It might be Amandala. Chandler Jensen. Zachary McAdam, Brandy Korn Probst. Korn Probst. Korn like the band Probst, like the host of fucking Survivor. Beck J., Matthew Graff, Santa, Ferrets, Michelle, M-I-S-H-A-E-L-L-E. That is not Michelle.

Wow. Your mom is so mean. Gap7, John Villa, Amber with no last name, Liam Ostrander.

Michael Ryan, Anthony Logobo. Logobo. Logobo. Logobo. Anthony, that's a tough one. Logobo. Carrie Kelly, Emily with no last name, Courtney Dashner, Samantha Beachler, Amanda Martinez, Blake Zerbes, Olivia Aturio, Carrie Redman, Amy Pearl, Mike on a horse with no last name. Okay. He has no last name.

Brittany Giner. You son of a bitch.

I don't like that at all. Sarah with no last name. Peggy Johnson. Amber Jackson. Nathan Couch. Sabrina McCracken. Sarah Drulow. Jeff Moose White. Mackenzie Adams. Jeff Simpson. Ebrook 16. Adam with no last name. Eric Linville. Golden Roses. Not all... Bitches wear capes. Okay. Jim Jam. Marsha Gleason. Nicole Halaiko. Misha Robinson. Louise Meeks. James Bruce. Jay Brooks. Is that Josh Brooks?

Perhaps. Maybe just Jay Brooks. Danny with no last name. Keith Wilson. C-H. The letters C and H. Chili Willie. Josh Rhea. Rhea, perhaps. Morgan Olson. Jennifer Stringer. Kay. This show brought to you by the letter K. Karen Bamford. Laura Lavoie. Cheryl Brands. Brandes. Brandes. Brandes.

There's got to be two left.

Paula Ricard, Adam Schaefer, Justine with no last name, Luis Muirhead, Chris Drew Carey, I don't believe you, a crooked pinky, a crooked pinky, M with no last name, Joni Jones, Johnny Jones, I don't know, Nikki Marie, Quentin with no last name, Ruben Ravellis, Sam Ellis, Chris Cozzolino, Alexandria Huertelka. Fucking wow. G with no last name. Sky with no last name. Sarah T. Monica Horton.

Jill Kelly. Best little cat house in Wyobraska. Is Wyoming close to it? It is close to Nebraska.

Isley. They got different.

Can you get in Wyobraska? I don't know.

That's great. Qualifying. Kenry. Kenny. That's great. Qualifying? Is that a – okay. All right. Melanie Buckley. Christina Plyler. Billy White. Casey with no last name. Jennifer Cox. Jeff Dubwigny. Jason with no last name. Jason Cecil.

Igor, uh, holy fuck. Wow, that's a weird name. Svijanovic, Svijanov.

Igor, Igor. It's pronounced Igor. Jessica Vandervelt, uh... Michaela Hanson, Jacob Gonzalez, James with no last name, A. Bell, Will Hung, I hope, is that William? No fucking way that's the real guy. Beth Silvey, Shannon Poole, ElectricDivaCreations.com, Michelle Gulch, Emily Bulchili, Catherine Vogler, Vogler, Vogler maybe, Corey with no last name, Chris C., Alexandra Wong, Rachel Gaziel, Gaziel,

Wallace is in there.

Karen Ruth, Carson Oster, Laura Myers, Becky Sargent, Samantha Hercules, Charles Withrow, Carolyn with no last name, Maris Lohr, Jessica Johnson, Andrew with no last name, K, the letter K, Emily Garcia, Christine Struzy, Rob Heyer, John James Webb, Sarah with no last name.

They don't even have an Isley last name anymore.

Olivia Christensen, Paul Caracato, Sabrina M., Sabrina Harvey, Peter Reynolds, Chris with no last name, Alicia Porter, Christina Reisbeck, Alisa Schramm, Omli Zeki. Jay Lynn with no last name. Rose with no last name. Mike. Mike. M-E-I-K-E. Is that meek? Mike. Jolie Vette. That's a foreign name. Laura with no last name. Amy DeBroom. Shannon Sullivan. Kara Shocks. Libby Kilgore.

Down the family tree.

And all of our patrons, thank you so much. Thank you, everybody, so much.

I just found out that one of their names is literally Flesh and. That's his name. Flesh and Bone.

It's the dumbest fucking thing. How do you have a festival that has Laney Wilson and Bone Thugs?

Hell, yeah. I mean, because... Yeah, nobody else.

What the fuck is happening?

Okay.

What the fuck? They're just like, is anybody available to fix music?

Yeah. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard of.

You wouldn't program a radio station with all those people.

You're listening to 99.3.

Welcome to 99.3, the what? Where every time a song comes on, you go, what?

WTFM.

What the fuck is this?

Oh, this is great.

I like the other ones so much better.

I guess you got to do the summer sizzle right before the other one to get you really in the mood to see music.

And you get your own customers. You got to go market yourself. It's a tough gig. It's like comedy, but...

She knows all the facts, all the facts. And when man was always sick.

I think it killed him.

I think he died first of all of them. I don't know.

The music of it.

Is that right?

Yeah. Judy Garland did a terrible death.

Cause she's mastered the art of amicable separation.

One.

Yeah.

She didn't have any kids, but she had a whole bunch of them.

Yeah.

I took my daughter doing that stuff for funsies. Yeah.

I've seen it from... Yes, but it's just like chicks named Jessica that just don't want to conform to the normal ways.

That's a cowgirl name.

Or you do it for very, very wealthy folks.

That'll help, yeah.

2014.

Is that right?

How?

That's very impressive that she's able to pull that off and figure that out.

Is that a stubborn lady that doesn't want to or somebody that just is like, you guys do it and I don't care?

Or everything she does, she keeps the lifestyle that she still can do it that way.

Take me to the box office so that I can buy tickets because I didn't buy them.

Oh, no.

Give a hand.

Power of attorney.

Okay, 50-50?

So, yeah, she stood a long time.

Sound like the Midwest.

Sounds like environmental disease though.

All the things that, yeah.

That's six months. Would you say a quarter mile of kielbasa? How much? How much would you say?

Curds brought beer. How much? How far?

That's horrible.

That's got to be the most frustrating thing on the planet to have an illness. The doctor is just like, I don't know.

I mean, the small bars, you've got pull tabs and there's all kinds of gambling that they do. Meat auctions. There's all kinds of meat raffle is what it's called. They just do weird shit where they throw a couple bucks on something and maybe they'll pay off.

A lot of bingo. It's a weird place, man.

Hey, I've been thinking.

It's a very interesting guy that sat around pondering this all day.

It doesn't matter to my life.

She's still getting up, putting on scrubs, leaving the house?

And he's going to sit at the bar and drink his ass off.

Sits over there and scrubs?

Yeah, whatever.

Yeah.

It's very odd.

In small towns, too, you kind of have to because otherwise if you hate somebody enough to where you can't be around them, that eliminates a lot of the places you can go.

Find a new Meijer.

You're transparent. You are one of those geckos.

Make a sick lady come over to you?

Consider this your invitation. Goodbye.

I don't know the witch's name, but yeah.

Forty one fifty to Anthony.

OK, tetrahydrozoline.

Tetrahydrozoline.

Oh, that's tetrahydrozoline.

Hmm. Interesting. So she's got crushed up meds on her chest and she's sucking on a Visine.

Capri Sun and a Visine somehow.

She was another one of- She got out of prison and went right to her?

Okay, so one of those ice towns that, like, delivered the ice? Like, they would ship it?

She was real big on it.

What movie was that Jeep in?

Where there's so many cameras.

Financial things there are very well viewed.

So you feel anonymous because nobody knows your name, but your face is very well known.

They've convinced me.

Oh, Scott got it, too.

All three bedrooms.

Wall-to-wall bedroom sets.

So many. Everything the internet, every app, everything we've done has been ways to fucking scheme and connive.

Probably one of the two scheme connive to fuck.

She doesn't go there.

Yeah. Yeah. Nobody ever thinks this. I squirt this bottle in my throat.

Oh my God.

I've heard of Vizine going in drinks to make people sick.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I've never heard of it being a tetrahydrozoline poisoning. That'd have to be like so many eye drops.

This is weird. This tastes like dry ice. Why does it taste like this?

Somebody else.

I'm a fraud guy.

They're murder guys.

I'm sorry they want you to pay child support. That's crazy.

Ugh, that'd be looming and daunting.

No, I'm not murder cops.

Standing on it like that is weird.

Yeah.

She really tried hard to explain it and got nowhere.

Yeah. In exchange for you doing what you're doing, I paid your child... I paid your... Your car payment directly.

That's weird.

More commonly known as the shit that Ben Stein sells people.

If it got in her bloodstream.

Did she snort it? How did she do this?

Yeah. Meijer's like everything.

Oh, I got some things to say.

She boofs Visine.

Yeah, let's go through the Walmart and the Weed Whacker section.

Vodka Visine.

We don't have Visine. We got Clear Eyes. That'll do.

That's fine as long as it's got Grey Goose.

Ah, vodka, Vizine. Who the fuck says that?

What cops is going to be like, oh, that explains it.

Lady, that just made it so much weirder.

That's what she did.

Right. Did you mix this? Was it on the rocks or neat?

Yeah, she did it.

Yeah. You just slept on this, and this is what you came back to us with.

Can you run on up to Walgreens and get me my mixers?

Yeah. What?

Knocking guns out of her hand.

Look, it's called anticipation and suspension.

I need to have some suspense on this story.

She's getting sleep from Visine?

That's the depressant.

Had nothing to do with the vodka at all.

A whole six pack of Visine.

Nobody's ever described the measurement of Visine as... How many bottles?

If you get a piece of dog shampoo in your eye, you will squirt that shit in there, but you're not...

That's the craziest thing that we've ever said.

I think she had six. That's way too much to drive.

You've given us three different stories and then open credit cards after a woman vising herself to death.

Oh, she probably Googled cyanide and then clicked the document and downloaded it.

She probably clicked and it didn't happen and then clicked some other stuff and didn't realize that she downloaded it.

Click. Done. I'm still paying for the shit that she got broken by the cops.

Is that right?

Who's Craig?

He's the only person in history to be banned from eye drop.

Wow.

We can't do it. She wants us to mount a defense that is just illogical and unethical.

I'm not going to tell a jury of 12 of my peers that something is addictive that is not addictive.

I've got to go sit down with these people in the future. I don't go to jail when you do.

They're going to be saying things like Visine withdrawals at me.

The woman's trying her best to get healthy, for Christ's sake.

Sometimes. Look, man, some dummies like me. This chair chair with four legs.

Maybe he was trying to find an interesting word, you know, in like fucking lazy boy or recliner or... Fucking, yeah, something.

Chair, whatever.

Isn't that long?

That's more than I would need.

Nine and a half hours is way too long.

You guys could eat, huh? Okay. We're going to argue this out over a vodka and Visine?

Really?

It's an old gal. Yeah, you know, like that kind of, you know. Make it sound like you smoked for 40 years.

Yeah, make it sound like one of the Simpsons sisters.

For half an acre, it's almost 200 grand.

Oh, for fuck's sake. That's a woman.

Thanks for being a pal about this. Thank you.

I'm considering your family.

Considering your child may have to visit you through glass for a while.

You're not allowed.

I wish I had their names and their family and their addresses.

They don't even talk to me.

Yeah, they're allowed in.

Because you're in trouble.

That's not been a selling point, a selling feature that turned anybody on for quite some time.

Probably sounds like I'm beating around the bush, and I am, but it's because you need to do some thinking about how this has to unfold and be done.

Lynn did?

I guess they expire in, I don't know.

That word really fucks murderers.

So Lynn's a murderer.

So she felt bad about killing her mom, so she gave away money to perfect strangers to heal her own heart.

Give away all of her worldly possessions because she's down to 80 bucks now.

Right, right.

And then she gave it all away down to 80 bucks and was like, well, I got nothing left, so it's time to go away.

Time to go visit Ben Stein.

You weren't good at it at all.

And action. And go. I need you to do this like everybody does Christopher Walken. How are your impressions?

And then say, hold on, I need to light one of these Benson and Hedges.

Oh, Christ, I feel so much better now that I have a cigarette.

This is the greatest thing that's ever happened.

I can set you up with some background noise and you're... This is great.

Don't put any new releases. No wicked.

Don't have the tonight's news on.

Welcome to Super Bowl 59.

Gives time for pause.

Think and then turn over.

No, you don't understand. Yeah, I was robbing – I wasn't robbing the bank. I was helping that person.

You're helping. That's why you need the gloves.

Where they have a camera right in your fucking face.

The Watt family, yeah.

Never gotten diarrhea here ever.

They're from Pewaukee?

Should have told this story.

This is like... When you lift your arms, you have no bingo wings.

Jesse, put this away. There's no place like home.

Make her admit to murder, admit to suicide, and then strip her of dignity and tell everybody how much she used herself as a toilet.

Antiquated, obsolete bullshit.

It's a little drop. It's like .8 milliliters.

When butter churning is your activity, you really have nothing happening.

But thank God because we got everything.

I saw a video of an old lady butter churning online recently, and it essentially just looks like she's giving a really great hand job.

Just close your eyes and don't look at who's doing it.

But don't worry. I'm going to die with nothing. So it's fine.

She's giving away everything. Jim gets my Uno game.

She has got a lot to say.

You're not happy that you're in prison. That's the thing.

Have you guys heard of making a murderer? That's what they did to me.

You're going to find out all your rights.

I don't need you to talk.

To somebody.

What is going on?

Why is he so mad?

And it depends on which side he's on. Is he fixing things for people or ruining people?

So he's helping people get out of tax problems.

I might die now. That's why.

I've worked my life away in Jersey for this.

Connecticut, you know all the taxes I paid outside of Greenwich? To drive this easy go.

Complications from the hip. God damn it.

Oh, boy.

Over some capicola.

They put homicide on the ticket because he did?

Yeah, murder battery. It's different.

He really has a short temper.

If they had money, they'd pay their fucking tax bill.

Oh, boy.

Any rehab center will tell you that.

Didn't work out.

God damn.

Weird, right?

God, fuck.

I would say so.

I'm just getting comfy. I'm getting comfy and no one will think I'm local if I act like this. I'm going to do this and wear this Tommy Bahama shirt. Where's my oysters? I want shooters.

That would explain why he said, what are you doing?

I'm Jimmy Wissman.

Got this heavy equipment.

But the original charge was like...

It appears as though I've made a big mistake.

Wow.

Got to catch up and tell him about his goings, his dealings.

I was attacked a couple weeks ago.

Now back to the show.

He's got a big case he's working on.

What does he usually do when he disappears?

I mean, he's not using this door. No.

I go in and out my garage all day long.

If somebody leaves something on my door, I might not see it for a while.

It's going to be hard to decipher if there's been a crime.

All the big stuff is still there.

Well, where the hell would he go?

Just sitting there watching Snapped all day.

I've seen every Snapped twice.

Wow.

He didn't do that.

Hmm. I'm confused. How is that confused? Because I'm sitting here. My feet are facing north. My head's facing north.

Okay. I'm like, wait, his head's on backwards?

Sure, accelerating it.

And poured acid on him.

For killing his mother.

Yeah, they got him.

She's got reward money, huh?

They want this shit solved.

As hard as they might.

He'd give that a shot.

I'll be all right.

Now it's serious.

And she's got some fraud going on.

Huh.

You're not believing me. I want to go home.

Everybody's just driving places and getting shit-faced and being like, now what?

You don't do some fucking planning before you go out?

Fuck that guy. And I'm not going to deal with it.

She knew this the last time that she talked to the cops.

What has changed that she now wants to see?

She's never getting out.

Huh.

Billy Mays.

Opposite of Fort Myers.

Fort Myers is just south of Tampa on the west side.

And sometimes it's more than you expect.

I'll bet it is.

I'll bet it's directly across from Fort Myers.

Now back to the show.

The vaguest of answers.

That's what he burned him with?

And she knows all about it.

A bunch of makeup.

Oh, so that's a problem. So much for Maybelline, Michelle.

Maybe it's fucking visceral.

Yeah, who gets crack.

Talk about that over a plate of fucking Southwest egg rolls.

Corn in your egg roll.

OJ Simpson precipitated this.

How?

What?

You're a fucking sprinkler repair guy.

You installed the ceiling fan.

Are they on drugs?

What the fuck are they talking about?

They're so fucked up, they don't know what reality is.

Sure.

Yeah.

What?

It needs double fucking plastic barriers to contain it.

That was the compact for some reason.

They got cleared out. They only got one left.

Those ones were aerodynamic, like they were going to be going down the freeway.

Making sure he was charged correctly.

Yeah, because she definitely stole that money.

On this phone call.

I cannot imagine. Gross.

He has to.

She said this and this happened. What the fuck? You're just going to say, well, she's the only one that knows.

Yeah. Yeah. If you do testify, that gives them the opportunity to talk to you.

So you know how to get crack? Yep.

That's some rough-ass sex.

You couldn't come in eight minutes?

Nor is that story physically impossible.

It's physically impossible.

No, I heard a lot of people are mad.

Okay.

Oh, it's over for you, Tom.

Threw the whole thing away.

For what?

For what?

Where's money going to come from if he's not doing services?

Yeah, that is a very cracky plan.

Has to.

25.

You just got out.

People work longer shifts at gas stations.

God damn.

She's a bad person.

Oh, boy.

They're all still bad stories.

You don't show somebody how to use a gun by putting it in their chest.

Oh, my God.

The other story is real. The deer one's unbelievable, but I shot her because somebody was raping her and putting my jizz in her.

Best of luck.

Oh, that's going to be a great kid when we release him.

Oh, my God. He's going right the fuck back.

To survive in Florida prison.

What a terrible place.

That's like a folded-up tent.

Why do they all want to sing?

And comics just want to play the drums.

From time to time you're dodging bullets?

People are finding out that it's cheap there.

Go find somewhere cheap and don't tell anybody.

And it's going to go up before you know it.

You're here for eternity?

Safety in numbers.

Sounds like he's probably doing a lot of drugs.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

We respect the shit out of them, but keep them somewhere else.

That feels real gross.

These oysters are boxing.

You have belly full of oysters.

Yeah. Anything Keith.

Oh, that pre-stage is part of the name.

Johnny Debt.

The opposite of Johnny Paycheck, but also the opposite of Johnny Debt.

Amber Heard won.

I'll bet that's a good band.

Ronald or Ashley may be his last name?

That's a... Successful Southern man.

I've had a lot of lawyers do that at the beginning. Probably crack. Like, how the fuck am I going to make it now?

At the end of it, there's a crescendo of like either a dissertation or you've got to take the bar exam. Yeah. That is not.

The nice part about the bar is a lot of very famous lawyers have failed it several times.

You can fail it a million times and come right back.

Yeah. Now he's got it.

Let's just keep going.

Yeah, he knows now, but he didn't for a long time.