Joan Rivers

Are you Jewish?

Then shut up.

Then you don't know what you're talking about.

You know, guys, I'm going to hang up now because I thought we were going to have a nice talk.

And I wanted to talk about my coming to Miami tomorrow.

And if you think now I'm going to defend that I called somebody Hitler, are you Jewish?

Then shut up.

Then you don't know what you're talking about.

Can we get any clearer?

No.

person i never heard him he's a poker player he's mad i guess oh go away and leave me alone and get off trying to get famous on my back oh i'm really upset what's his name

Oh, he doesn't think I'm funny?

Oh, well, that ruined my day.

Who the hell is he?

Who gives a damn?

Oh, I'm really worried.

Tell him, darling, when he's 76 years old and he's had a career like I've had, and when he graduated Phi Beta Kappa at 19.

And when he's got an IQ at 135 and over, come and talk to me, you moron.

And get off my back and don't get famous with me.

And don't make jokes about me because I don't know who you are, nor do I care.