Joe Hudson

So through all of my work, I hope to empower, I like to explain why some things are the way they are at this current moment, but it's not to say that that's how they will always be.

be because we now know that our body and our mind is incapable of incredible change through neuroplasticity, through practicing small new choices each and every day.

We can actually change that climate that we're trying to return to at all times.

So if in childhood, if connection and compassion and safety were inconsistent, we didn't know when they would be available.

And again, I'm going to really generalize this.

The safest thing that we could do is become hyper aware or hyper vigilant.

to any shift or change that might indicate that that attention, that connection, that safety will move away.

So we become hypervigilant and oftentimes we end up pursuing as we do or we see in a anxious attachment style.

An avoidant attachment style might look like a childhood where we didn't have that attunement, so emotions were so big, the safest thing to do was to suppress them, to shove them down or to disconnect from them.

As I lived the majority of my life in a state of dissociation or a disconnected state where I lived in my mind, I was always thinking, analyzing.

No surprise, I became a psychologist, of course, living on my spaceship, as I called it.

So a lot of times that disconnected feeling

feeling or that kind of way of being that we see and avoid it, right, comes from an absence of connection.

Because when I don't have someone to be safe with me in childhood, I am left alone with my emotions.

So sometimes the safest thing I can do, right, is to avoid them, to disconnect from them.

And then we see that pattern play out when I'm relating to others, where I keep myself far away from any connection that is possible, even if now in adulthood that connection is safe.

So that would be avoided, is the absence of connection.

And again, I'm simplifying.

In childhood, it looks like there's distancing, there's pulling away behaviors.

It's the person who almost feels like they have a wall up.