Joe Loya

I had a hallucination that there was a little bald boy in my cell.

I cracked.

I see this bald boy in my cell, and I'm like, oh, no.

I've seen guys crack in solitary confinement, and they do crazy things.

And I was like, oh, no, I can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy now, so I'm in that realm.

There was a guy once who came out, and he went in Bobby, and when he came out,

He put red pencil on his cheeks.

He tucked his T-shirt in to make it look like a halter top.

He rolled his boxes up to make them look like panties.

And he came out Sally.

There was another guy just rubbed feces all over himself when he went crazy.

And they had to try and get him out.

And nobody wanted to go in there to drag him out.

People go crazy.

They do crazy things in there.

And I was thinking, oh, no, I'm on that spectrum now.

Like, I know that this isn't cool.

I just saw something that feels as real as anything I've, as if I, you know, in the visiting room, you know.

And as I'm lying there thinking I'm a wreck, within the day I realized, oh, you know, when I was a kid,

A seven-year-old bald kid I knew when I was seven, and he rode his bike in the neighborhood, and he had leukemia.