Joe Loya

I had to project.

So that you could get some peace and quiet.

I will hurt you so that I could be in my cell becoming a more sensitive man.

That's hilarious.

Writing to investigate myself.

Hold on a second.

Because all the crimes I did and all the violence I did, and starting with my dad, 16, it was like, I'm wired for that.

I'm made for that.

I've already committed so much violence that I know I'm fearless.

I've robbed 30, but I walked in there, you know, ready to die.

I'm a fearless man.

But there's a reason why I was doing this external stuff, because I didn't want to go inside and deal with the internal stuff.

I was afraid of going in there.

So what I realized when I started investigating myself was, man, this is hard.

This is scary.

I was going to have to change.

I was going to have to confront all these griefs that are actually, those are the animating force to do what I'm doing, to live the way I'm living.

I need this rage to survive here, to survive in the underworld.

I need the rage.

So all of a sudden I'm thinking about dismantling my rage and confronting my grief to take away the power of the rage.