Joel Kim Booster

I wasn't doing a lot of like straight standup shows in Chicago.

A little column A, a little column B for sure.

I mean the diagnosis was really helpful because it did give me a framework for.

around which to look at a lot of moments in my life.

And suddenly they all made a lot more sense.

And so it wasn't like, I mean, I definitely like, I cried when they diagnosed me, but it wasn't even so much out of like sadness or being upset.

It was a lot of it was relief to finally have a name to put to it and to finally have a sort of a plan in front of me on how to deal with it.

I don't think I connected it to that sense.

By that point, by the time I was diagnosed too, especially like I didn't have any, I wasn't self-conscious about being remarkable at that, by that point.

It was just like, you know, there were, there were moments in my life that were really difficult.

And, um,

really like, you know, I was a pretty well-liked, like gregarious, like socially adept person.

And then I would have moments of really flying off the handle and being out of control.

And I didn't ever really understand it.

And it was always sort of these blips that like didn't make sense to the people around me because they were like, we know this guy who's so dependable and so grounded and

And then occasionally I would have a week where I just be flying off the handle and like or a moment where I'd fly off the handle or I would break down or I would just completely crumble under the pressure.

And it never made any sense because it wasn't.

There was never any through line in terms of like the situation or the environment or any of like that.

It just felt completely at random to most of the people in my life and to myself until I realized I was like, oh, those were manic episodes.

Yeah, I mean, like the upwards were a huge part of it.