John Ballen
speaker
344 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
John Ballen’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
It's this idea of like, you just got to start moving because it's amazing what doors begin to open up for you if you're already on the move. If you're stationary, they don't open.
You know, it's funny you say that because I literally have sort of a mantra that I've developed that I can't claim is something I came up with, but I definitely find myself living by it now. And that is, it's do things that scare you, you know, quantify that or qualify that. So actually, Will Smith, the actor, has this great thing he does. He goes on Oprah. I think it was Oprah or some talk show.
And he talks about his experience skydiving. And it's this unbelievable monologue, this impromptu monologue he gives. But he basically is like, you know, my family was like, yeah, or my buddies were like, we're going to go skydiving tomorrow. And it was like, oh, yeah, that would be so crazy. We'll go skydiving tomorrow. But he's like, we're not going to really do that.
And then it's like the next morning we get up and he's like, yeah, let's go get breakfast, guys. Like, no, no, we're going to go skydiving. Like, let's go skydiving. And he's like, wait, we're really doing that? And they're like, yeah. And he's like, oh, my God, I don't want to go skydiving. I thought we were just like saying it last night.
And he winds up, you know, going with his buddies to the actual, you know, airfield. And they're like signing the paperwork. And he's like, guys, are we really doing this? I don't want to do this. Come on. It's not so bad. And so before long, he's like in the plane, up in the air, attached to the instructor. And he's like – they open the door up and they're like, all right, it's your turn.
And he was like, the second I left the plane, the fear was gone.
And it was just this exhilarating experience of soaring through the air, of skydiving. And he was like, when I landed, he's like, I suddenly understood that there's always been this aspect in my life that I've sort of seen in other ways in my life. But it's... the best things in life, this is Will Smith, not me, the best things in life are on the other side of fear.
And so what I've taken that as, you know, like becoming a Navy SEAL, for example, when I decided to do it, like there's a huge amount of fear and not so much fear of failure. It's like, it's fear of, like not stacking up. Like when I got there, like I was so intimidated by the people around me.
But I knew if I could just like not let the fear overwhelm me, that the reward on the back end would be so high, you know? Or even take, you know, I just did a live, we did a live show with 15 shows. I actually am terrified of public speaking. I've had instances in my life where I have frozen up publicly giving a speech and literally had to put the microphone down and leave.
I've had that experience and I'm volunteering to do a tour with thousands of people. But it's – the way I look at it is like the things that you don't want to do, you'll be indifferent to. The things that you do want to do, you'll typically have a – if it's a big enough thing, the best things in life so to speak, you will have some element of a fear response to it. Now, of course –
If you're scared to go down in the basement because you hear an intruder breaking in, listen to yourself, don't go down in the basement. When it comes to like goal setting, kind of going back to that idea of shower thoughts, right? Everybody has something that they just really want to do. And it's not even necessarily motivated by one particular thing. Maybe it's some action they want to take.
Maybe it's talking to a friend that they've blown off for 10 years or it's public speaking or whatever it is. But they know, even if they don't admit to it, deep down they know fear is the thing keeping them from doing it. It's fear of embarrassment. It's fear of failure. It's a fear of all the things that make us human.
It's the very select number of people in this life that are still able to say, I'm going to still do that thing that scares the fuck out of me, that have the best and most fulfilling lives. Not always, but they often do. And that's why we look at Will Smith, for example. That dude, very likely, just because I'm referencing him, he's probably had to do things that were so uncomfortable in his life.
To be an actor at his level is like, hey, perform in front of everybody right now. And don't screw it up. You know, it's like pressure and performance. It's like that dude has faced fears his whole life. Yeah, he's using skydiving as an example, but his life is very likely a product of a guy who faces fears. But it's the fear knowing that if I do this, there's something big on the other side.
And so I preach to my children and I try to live this idea of do things that scare you. And literally the live tour that we just did was it. I was having like an existential crisis before we began. But the second I took the stage, it was like, oh, this is great.
Yeah. I look back at the fact that I was in San Francisco at a dinner where I literally froze and put the mic down and walked off. I looked at that as a catalyst for why I was so scared to do public speaking this time. And it ultimately pushed me to do it. I don't regret San Francisco. I'm glad it happened. but only because I faced it later on. I would be so embarrassed.
I would harbor like my pain forever if I never tried again. But yeah, it's like you don't regret the failure. You regret not trying.
Oh, good question. I would say, and this is not even to try to curry, you know, favor with my, you know, former SEAL brethren. But I think that even when I was posting, and this is really just specifically to the people that really disowned me, who still very likely do. You know, my intention when I was posting the SEAL stuff before Mr. Ball and thing happened, it was never like, I'm so great.
It was more like, I want to do something with my life. And this feels like an opportunity. And I know it's sort of like questionable. But when you're no longer in that insulated space, team room, when you're in the wolf pack, so to speak, it's easy to view the rest of your life as being, oh, I've become a SEAL. I can do anything I want.
But when you're cast out or when you leave and you're by yourself and you've got to figure out your new life, it's really difficult to imagine how you're going to do that without leveraging the biggest thing you've ever done and
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