John Ballen

If you're not successful and you wash out of training, you're stuck in the Navy in the sense that you don't get to pick another job. You kind of become needs of the Navy and you have to go do like these crappy jobs for like four years. Nobody likes being stuck if they don't have what's called a rate. It's like your job.

If you're not successful and you wash out of training, you're stuck in the Navy in the sense that you don't get to pick another job. You kind of become needs of the Navy and you have to go do like these crappy jobs for like four years. Nobody likes being stuck if they don't have what's called a rate. It's like your job.

So it's like he's viewing it as both outcomes sort of come with big negatives. But the way it came out to me was he doesn't believe in me. He doesn't believe I can be a Navy SEAL. Like he thinks I'm not going to make it. I'm sure that was not what he intended, but that's the way I interpreted it. And it marked like a departure in our relationship in 2010. I left for boot camp.

So it's like he's viewing it as both outcomes sort of come with big negatives. But the way it came out to me was he doesn't believe in me. He doesn't believe I can be a Navy SEAL. Like he thinks I'm not going to make it. I'm sure that was not what he intended, but that's the way I interpreted it. And it marked like a departure in our relationship in 2010. I left for boot camp.

And while he and I absolutely maintained some level of contact, from 2010 until quite literally like a few months ago, I barely spoke to my dad by choice. I had a lot of ill will towards him. I always just sort of felt like... he doesn't believe in me. He also, he got remarried and he has, and he's, you know, he got remarried as a family.

And while he and I absolutely maintained some level of contact, from 2010 until quite literally like a few months ago, I barely spoke to my dad by choice. I had a lot of ill will towards him. I always just sort of felt like... he doesn't believe in me. He also, he got remarried and he has, and he's, you know, he got remarried as a family.

It just, I, I had a lot of resentment towards him that some was founded. Much of it was not. And it sort of became something that it never was, which is I had it in my head that my dad doesn't believe in me. That really was the thought. And it actually helped propel me to, at times there were, there were days in SEAL training where I would literally think to myself, well,

It just, I, I had a lot of resentment towards him that some was founded. Much of it was not. And it sort of became something that it never was, which is I had it in my head that my dad doesn't believe in me. That really was the thought. And it actually helped propel me to, at times there were, there were days in SEAL training where I would literally think to myself, well,

If I don't make it, I can't even fathom what it would be like to face my dad, who in my head at the time, I'm like, he'd be like, told you so. Like the idea of that made my skin crawl, you know?

If I don't make it, I can't even fathom what it would be like to face my dad, who in my head at the time, I'm like, he'd be like, told you so. Like the idea of that made my skin crawl, you know?

So in many ways, my relationship with my dad had become sort of negative for many years, but it sort of maintained a pretty healthy chip on my shoulder that pushed me to sort of prove him wrong in a sense. But with self-awareness recently, like very recently through therapy with my boy Vinny Shorman and through some sort of the world lining up, he and I sort of reconnected and

So in many ways, my relationship with my dad had become sort of negative for many years, but it sort of maintained a pretty healthy chip on my shoulder that pushed me to sort of prove him wrong in a sense. But with self-awareness recently, like very recently through therapy with my boy Vinny Shorman and through some sort of the world lining up, he and I sort of reconnected and

And we actually had some frank discussions about that. And it turns out that no, my dad just literally was worried about his son and felt like I didn't like him or love him. And we sort of drifted and life happens. I had my life, he had his life. But we've reconnected now and I'm happy for it.

And we actually had some frank discussions about that. And it turns out that no, my dad just literally was worried about his son and felt like I didn't like him or love him. And we sort of drifted and life happens. I had my life, he had his life. But we've reconnected now and I'm happy for it.

Sure.

Sure.

I can see that.

I can see that.

I think that taking men specifically as an example... You sort of have like the socially acceptable things that can be demons for you that maybe we don't talk about them. But if you did, no one's really going to bat an eye. Like, it turns out I hate my job. And, you know, it turns out I don't love my partner, okay? These are bad things.

I think that taking men specifically as an example... You sort of have like the socially acceptable things that can be demons for you that maybe we don't talk about them. But if you did, no one's really going to bat an eye. Like, it turns out I hate my job. And, you know, it turns out I don't love my partner, okay? These are bad things.