John Mulaney
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Why do you need my underpants?
And they're like, there's elastic in the band.
There could be a static electric charge and your underpants could literally catch on fire.
And I just said, where's the box?
Because I will sign that box.
I will put my initials in the box.
If my junk bursts into flames during this procedure, you will not be held liable.
Now, look, if you put a cigarette out on my sack, then we've got a problem.
But if the electrostatic charge causes my underpants to burst into flames, it will not cost this facility a penny.
But where's the option?
Do they let you?
And then, of course, it's smash cut to...
drugged up me with a club on my hand after the surgery in the back room attempting to get my both legs through the same hole.
You know what I mean?
Drooling and flopping about, back asshole and sack hanging out, door cracked open.
It's like, Cor, I could have kept my underpants on.
Joe Walsh in the studio.
That's Funk 50, by the way.