Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Welcome to Corolla Classics. I'm your host, superfan Giovanni. This is the podcast where we put the best moments and highlights from all 16 years of The Adam Corolla Show. We have a companion podcast titled Corolla Classics, available exclusively through Podcast 1. Plus. Sign up and get the ad-free archives.
And if you'd like to get the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, or you just want exclusive access to the brand new podcast to beat it out, make sure to check out Adam Corolla's Substack, adamcorolla.substack.com. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us, classics at adamcorolla.com. All right, let's get the clips.
Coming up first, we have Adam Carolla's show, 1440, featuring Greg Fitzsimmons, Alison Rosen, and Brian Bishop from October of 2014.
Where were we?
All right. So there's some debate about whether there should be an involuntary quarantine for people who arrive, for medical workers who arrive back in the States after having been in West Africa helping with Ebola over there. Mm-hmm.
And a woman, Casey Hickok, a nurse who was placed under mandatory quarantine in New Jersey, she went on CNN and she was very upset about what she calls the knee-jerk reaction by politicians to quarantine someone without a better plan in place, without more forethought. It's just preposterous. And she feels like her human rights have been violated.
She's tested negative for Ebola two or three times. She has no symptoms. But she was still put immediately in a tent and wasn't allowed to talk to a lawyer, to Not allowed to have her luggage. She was given paper scrubs to wear. She said she had no shower, no flushable toilet. And the hospital gave her no television or reading material.
Oh, now, wait a minute. This is where I step in. No fucking cable. Oh, no. I'm sorry. You don't do that to another American. I'll sit around in a paper mache dress and take a shit into a bucket. But I got to have some cable.
The hospital said the patient has computer access, use of her cell phone, reading material, magazines, newspapers as requested and has received takeout food and drink. And then she said the tent has a window and doctors talk to her in normal clothes from outside the window. So there's no risk to them talking to me outside the window.
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Chapter 2: What are the implications of quarantining medical workers returning from Ebola-affected areas?
Her temperature is normal. There's nothing wrong with her.
He's the... He's just the greatest guy to ingest almost no knowledge before making statements. He's famous for that. Well, the other thing they worry about is that if you make it such a nightmare to come back, people are just going to lie. Oh, I wasn't over there. I didn't help anybody.
Yeah, and the part I hate is the part of the people that are doing the Lord's work are the ones getting punished with no cable stateside.
Or Ebola.
Cruel unusual. But look, politicians, this is a perfect... this is a perfect case for politicians, which is I'm not going to travel over there and do shit. I'm never going to have to sit in a fucking tent stateside for three weeks. So I'm going to make these sweeping proclamations about the safety of Americans being number one.
And on my watch, I don't, even if someone has to be inconvenienced, my number one job is the safety of the people in my community. You know, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, votes, votes, votes, hero, hero, hero. And he's going to go down, block a bridge and get some ice cream. Now I've got to go block a bridge and get some ice cream. I need some soft swirl, and I've got to block a bridge.
If Ebola wasn't... He should end every news conference with that. I need a soft swirl cone, and I've got to block a bridge.
Excuse me!
And he just gets up and waits. I'm going to block a bridge and block an artery.
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Chapter 3: How do politicians and the medical community view mandatory quarantines?
Well, it was Hogg, right? His name was Arnold. Wait, wait.
There's Honey Boo Boo's mom.
Oh, how dare you.
So anyway, when they had me put the gown on, I forgot to mention, they gave me two gowns, and they said put one on forward and one on backwards. I didn't know if that was, is that, you're nodding.
That's a good way to prevent things from spelling out because those things always have the opening in front or back. So if you put on two, it's like you're wearing a little bathrobe.
Yeah, it was smart. I had never seen that before. They could just come up with a butt full gown.
So is it like when you take two ball caps, go forward and backward and make it into a Sherlock Holmes hat?
It was like that, but with hospital gowns. It was a lot of fabric is what it was.
I never got that. I got the give me your underpants when I had to have wrist surgery. You know, and they're like, give us your underpants. For wrist surgery? That's what I said. And I said, the way they do wrist surgeries, they lay you out on a gurney and they strap you to a sandwich board and they strap your arm down because they don't want you flailing about in the middle of their surgery.
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Chapter 4: What personal experiences does John Mulaney share about his upbringing?
I have friends in Chicago, you know. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, they told me what he was up to, and lo and behold, he did it.
Mm-hmm.
He's probably started off with not taking my time.
Yeah, something like that.
Fixing the school system. Working on infrastructure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then he got busted because he hasn't paid any child support. Oh, really? Ever.
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Chapter 5: How does John Mulaney describe his experience working with Elliot Gould?
And his kids are like 40. Even though I'm running on a post, I still need your vote. I started Twittering. But I got some, I don't know, replies or, you know, some people gave me a lot of grief about not paying child support. Oh, really? And I said, no, that's the guy in Chicago. Different dude, yeah.
But you'd think the rock and roller would be the guy not paying the child support versus the politician.
Joe just started tweeting at Joe Walsh.
And since I passed Rick Astley, we're not going to focus on me. I'm kicking his ass, headed all the way to Rick Springfield. That's the next goal, trying to get him at 18,000. But I think by tomorrow, we need to get Joe past Rick Astley. and exploding into his justified, you know, he should be in the 100,000 by tomorrow.
I love that the Ricks are the yardstick now.
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Chapter 6: What are the humorous insights shared about flavored products and their implications?
I'm just going to keep going Rick Perry after that.
Just keep going. So, David, you've got your sights set on Rick Springfield now. Yes. Interesting. And he's at $18,000? He's at $18,000. He also owes me a little money. Really?
Yeah, that's just between Rick and I. What happened? I'm going to wipe out the debt when I pass $18,000. No, he doesn't really. I married a Rick Springfield head, so I love Rick Springfield. But I do want to pass him very badly.
Yeah, no, I understand. But I'm more concerned with Joe getting the full focus on this album because it deserves it.
Well, passing Rick Astley. Once I fucked up once, that's it. I'm fucked up for life. It's the Susan and the Susannes. Once you toggle back twice, you're fucked.
Kurt is one that I have trouble with.
You're fucked. Anyway, if we get Joe past Rick, then that will also help the album sales is what I'm saying. Absolutely. That's what I'm saying. And the album, yeah. Nick Schroeder should be nervous. You have a month for the album to come out, but I would start pre-ordering now. That's what I will do. All right. One more. Bring it home, Alison Rosen. That's what I'm saying to you.
That's the news. I'm Alison Rosen. Tip it, cunt.
That was the news with Alison Rosen. You know something Glenn Frey probably doesn't use? Go to my PC.
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Chapter 7: What humorous parenting anecdotes are shared?
I didn't one-up you. I have a shittier job than you.
Wait, so that's what you're supposed to do?
Yeah, what the fuck kind of advice is that? Don't be a one-upper? To be fair, it was a good concept that she was too high to understand. She was having a problem.
Do you think it is a good concept?
She was promoting acts or something like the game killers, things not to do when you're a wingman or something, and don't be a one-upper to your buddy when he's trying to pick up a chick or something, which is kind of interesting or clever or whatever, but she was like, don't be a one-upper.
She couldn't graph what the concept was.
Be a one-upper. Wait. Don't be a whopper.
To be fair, yeah, like she probably went to bed about four in the morning, probably underneath a couple NBA, like the sixth man for the Sacramento Kings was probably pounding the shit out of her all night. Then she tried to make it up with a couple of low-cal Red Bulls before she came in.
Yeah, a couple of sugar-free Red Bulls.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts compare their children's personalities?
Oh, she was another fucking brainless bitch.
She was on twice.
Yeah.
She was? Yes.
I think we had to try to figure out how fucking bad she was the first time. Like, we had to bring her back just to plumb her depths of horribleness.
I still don't know why she's famous, but she was really.
She's got a fat ass, and Mexicans love fat asses.
It is juicy. She does have a juicy.
She has a juicy ass. Yeah. Hey, Mark. What's happening, Ace? What's happening, Mark? Yeah, yeah. Sunny. Wow. Listen, my daughter's starting to piss me off. First off, my wife has an attractive friend named Jody, and she was over at the house the other day. And somehow when someone's good-looking, it makes everything more embarrassing.
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