John R. Miles

We demand clarity we don't have.

We try to rip something out of our lives as if force will make the ending clean.

But that kind of ending rarely frees us.

It just replaces one form of tension with another.

Letting something end doesn't require aggression.

It requires attention.

Most of the things we need to release aren't holding on because we're weak.

They're holding on because they were built to keep us safe.

So the first step isn't deciding what to let go of.

It's recognizing why it stayed for so long.

That old story about needing to prove yourself, it helped you survive a season where approval mattered.

That habit of staying guarded, it protected you from disappointment when trust felt risky.

That belief that rest had to be earned, it kept you moving when stopping didn't feel possible.

None of these deserve condemnation.

They deserve acknowledgement.

So instead of asking, how do I get rid of this?

Try a different question.

What did this protect me from?

Because gratitude is what allows something to loosen its grip.

Once you've named that, the ending can begin and it begins quietly.