John R. Miles

That's the fear of disappointing people running the show.

And I'm telling you right now, it's got to go.

Pattern number two, and buckle up because this one is going to sting.

Getting tangled up in your own damn roles.

You know exactly who you are in this one.

You're the strong one.

You're the fixer.

You're that person everybody texts at 2 a.m.

when their life's on fire because they know you'll pick up.

You're the human Swiss army knife and you love it.

until you realize you have zero clue who you are when nobody needs anything from you.

You got the cape on 24 by 7 and you're wondering why you're exhausted and resentful and empty.

That's this pattern.

That's you turning yourself into everybody else's answer key and forgetting you're a whole ass person underneath the superhero costume.

Let's burn that cape right now.

Pattern number three, and oh my God, this one is sneaky, emotional outsourcing.

This is when you have handed the remote control of how you feel about yourself

every single person in your life.

Your mom's mood controls you.

Your boss's tone in that email controls you.