John R. Miles

Well, in our first conversation, we talked about success addiction and from strength to strength.

And the second, we went into build the life you want, and we focused on emotional self-management.

But what did you start seeing that made you realize those weren't enough, that something deeper around meaning itself was breaking down?

You start out the meaning of your life by describing the return to campus and feeling unheimlich.

And I was hoping you can describe that here in a second, but I've heard similar observations from other professors, notably when I had Laurie Santos on the show, she was talking about how she built her course, which has now become the most popular course at Yale, but it was based on also seeing some of the same things.

She told me students were anxious, depressed, but also quietly unseen.

What did you notice that told you this was more than stress or burnout?

So does modern life fail because it's overwhelming the young kids or is it because it makes them feel interchangeable?

I love what you're talking about.

I often talk about how so many of us have fallen into this trap of living the life we should be leading instead of the life we could be leading.

And it seems that for many of us, we reach that point older in life.

It now seems that young adults are getting there quicker.

Is what you're saying a reason for that?

I know you're familiar with self-determination theory, and I've had Richard Ryan on this show.

For those who aren't familiar, it's really about three things, autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

In your book, you go into coherence, purpose, and significance when you're defining meaning.

When you look at modern life, which of those three do people struggle the most to experience?

Arthur, what happens psychologically, speaking of significance, when it erodes, but performance remains?

Since we're recording this just before Christmas, and I'm Catholic like you are, so it's a very significant time of the year for us, you bring up It's a Wonderful Life.

And I think with what you were describing, George Bailey is probably the poster child of what you were just describing.