John R. Miles

Another one when I was in my early forties from unfortunately suicide and the other one from cancer a few years later.

So it yes, it makes you really wake up that.

You've got to live for now because you don't know how long it's going to last.

Well, speaking of your 70th, I understand you ended up going on a year-long journey to visit, I think it was 40 or 44 people during that journey.

What were you really searching for?

Oh, another happy time.

Yeah, I remember it vividly.

I was a regular watcher.

I watched him every Sunday.

Yeah, I love the story.

And I wanted to... I'm not sure if you've ever heard of a researcher from Cornell named Tom Gilovich.

But Tom studies the regrets of people in their third trimester.

And probably someone that you should look into because...

He has interviewed thousands of people, and what he has found is very similar to what Bronnie Ware, who wrote The Five Regrets of the Dying, found as well, is that people regret not ever becoming

the third phase that you talk about, becoming me, becoming their best self, like showing the people in their lives how much they matter to them, really understanding how much they matter to other people.

And so when people are on their deathbeds, that's what they tend to talk about the most.

Why do you think we postpone that for most of us until our funerals?

Walter, thank you for sharing that because it's really profound and it's actually a core of what I explore in an upcoming book that I have coming out in October 6th called The Mattering Effect, where it really goes into what you're talking about.

What you're talking about is actually the mattering effect.

It's, I believe we can change the world if we start doing things like you're suggesting, which don't take a lot of effort, but they significantly change your relationship with yourself.