John R. Miles

And you frame energy as something that we can regenerate, not just conserve.

How does your research in acceptance and commitment therapy support that idea?

I'm going to come back to two things we talked about at the beginning of the episode.

One is Jordan Feingold and the other is metaphors.

So in the book, you use a Zen metaphor about the five cups, empty, full, cracked, dirty, and overflowing.

And I wanted to ask, how does that image help us, as Jordan would say, choose growth with more humility and less judgment?

And I wanted to follow that up with, you've worked with parents, leaders, high achievers, many who feel constantly drained.

What do you think is common as you look at all the people you work with in the way that they misuse their energy?

Is there one common thing?

Is it multiple common things?

I think what you were just talking about is a great segue to where I wanted to go next, which is

doing a little bit of a deep dive on understanding what fuels you versus what fools you.

And you outlined six universal yearnings, and you were just talking about a few of these, connection, purpose, competence, meaning, orientation, and feeling deeply.

Out of those, which one do you think is missing the most for so many of us today?

I couldn't agree with you more.

That's why I've been doing so much work over the past years.

on the mattering and the belonging deficit that I think is so rampant today in society.

So thank you for sharing that.

And I also think it's a good opportunity to bring up Rick Hansen again, because I know one of the things that he is really working on similar to the circle that you described is compassion circles.

And just trying to get people to sit around, especially in the polarizing world that we live in, and to see how compassion is such a strength for us to use and not to avoid.