John R. Miles

Is there one of these questions that you think happens more predominantly than the other, or is it really do all of them work together?

Since you were just talking about the perfectionist, in the book you describe common parenting defaults.

Perfectionist is one of them, disengaged is another, entangled, paralyzed, and survivor.

And you include a post-traumatic parenting quiz to help someone find their default.

Can you go through that quiz and maybe what's a telltale scenario that distinguishes like a perfectionist default from a paralyzed default?

Well, thank you for going through all of those.

And one of the things I wanted to make sure we talked about is you underscore a hopeful concept in the book called earn security.

which is repairing our own attachment by giving secure attachment to our kids.

What does earned security look like for a parent on a typical, since it's a Friday, we're doing this, typical Friday afternoon?

Thank you for sharing that, Robin.

The last thing I really wanted to hit on was you have something in the book called R-squared parenting, which is responsive and responsible.

And in my own book, Passion Struck, I had this concept of the gardener leader.

And I describe this as a leader who's eyes on but hands off.

And this kind of reminded me of it because you need to be responsive to the needs, but you want an employee, a child to learn from themselves.

So you don't want to be overly directive to them.

What's a quick litmus test for listeners for how they can use connection over correction if they're in a heated moment?

I love it.

And can you tell us a little bit about your podcast?

Awesome.

And where's the best place people can go?