John R. Miles

often more than the prize is actually worth.

We do this with our lives every single day.

We compete for the title that demands our entire soul, the lifestyle that stretches our integrity to the breaking point, or the social validation that requires us to perform a version of ourselves that isn't real.

We see the market of social media bidding on these things, and we raise our paddles.

We bid our time, our health, and our most sacred relationships.

And then we win.

We get the trophy.

We get the follow button.

We get the seat at the table.

But as the mortar begins to set, the adrenaline fades and the winner's curse kicks in.

We realize we forced an unfit stone into our wall.

We've overpaid for a prize that doesn't actually provide the shelter we're looking for.

This is the hollow high we felt at the start of this episode.

It's the realization that we've optimized for the bid rather than the build.

Alex's work is a sobering reminder that optimization is not the same as wisdom.

You can be the most optimized person in your industry and still be a victim of the winner's curse.

When we treat life as a series of auctions to be won, we lose our ability to ask the most important question.

Is this stone worth the mortar it's taking to bind it?

In this setting phase, you have to be the gatekeeper of your own architecture.

You have to realize that every time you chase a win that doesn't align with the sacred values we discussed with Stephen Sloman, you are adding a weak point to your structure.