Johnny Smacks

sauna sauna yeah a good gym to be fair like you know we judging by what I just said for the last 10 minutes but I do actually go to the gym because if I didn't I would be like Pavarotti I'd be humongous lads I'd be Robbie Coltrane and stuff like but it'd have to have a decent gym and a sauna and maybe a hot tub oh yeah I'd drive like I'm happy enough there then for the rest of my life you don't ask for much nah good grub and that's about it and the dressing gowns

yeah do you know the big white dressing gowns big white dressing gowns yeah a new one every day every day bring me a fresh one embroidered washed in Paco Rabanne smell of one million of it here's your dressing gown Mr Smacks yeah thank you thank you so that's what that's what we'd be doing lads if we weren't into Johnny's I'd be still in super value happy out with me owl butchering chatting to owl ones and haggling with owl fellas who want four cent off a chop and you would be out knocking down ash trees and making Harley still

Jeez, lad.

I tell you, your hands have never been softer.

It's true, lad.

Yeah?

My hands are starting to go soft from lack of hardship.

Man, my hands are... Like, you know when we go to the gym, like, I'm always complaining that I have a welt on my hand from the weights.

From swabbing my key card when I pass, yeah.

Yeah, imagine if I was actually muscly.

Jeez, I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I wouldn't be able to get out of bed in the morning.

Brilliant.

Brilliant.

Now, lads, throughout this podcast, you're going to have different segments from well-known characters.

So we've got a lot of characters in our sketches and stuff on our Facebook stuff.

And one of our most popular characters.

Yeah.

He's about to make an appearance now.

He's pulled up outside.