Jon Stewart

When I went to school, we had welding, we had shop.

The kids don't have nothing anymore.

They don't have that.

My father taught me how to put wires in, plumbing, all that stuff.

These kids don't have it.

You don't think dads are teaching kids how to put wires in anymore?

No.

There you have it.

As long as Trump teaches kids how to put wires back in, he and the Irish are building a friendship that will last a lifetime.

Well, that was quick.

Pink hearts, yellow moons, green clovers, two black eyes, and a nasty hangover.

Today is St.

Paddy's Day, and all over the country, thousands of Angela's asses hit the streets to celebrate, making it a great day for the Irish, but just an okay day if you were looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read, or have a white wine spritzer.

Here in New York, parade goers showed their true colors.

Some people just command respect for their people, don't they?

But not everyone celebrates the same way.

Meet Lucy McLaughlin, an Irish woman living in New Zealand.

Lucy's stupid.

For her St.

Patty celebration, this plucky Irish lass had someone paint her plucky Irish ass, and then she jumped off a bridge.