Jon Stewart
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Space Force?
IRS?
RFK Jr.
?
I can't scan your suitcase, but you can watch me do pushups and jeans.
Can I smell your neck?
Clearly, clearly Trump isn't helping.
But the question is, who is to blame for the shutdown in the first place?
Well, according to a story from Republican Congressman Andy Barr, that definitely happened.
It's the Democrats.
And then she said to me, you're an American hero, Andy.
Come use the special line we reserve for the most handsome of men.
And I did.
And as I was collecting my luggage, she said, Andy, I love you, Andy.
And we started to kiss and she was very attractive and we got to know each other.
Then she had my baby.
And then she said, you have to take care of this baby, Andy.
You're too important.
Plus, you have a flight to catch.
Go save the country from the Democrats who, again, are bad and evil and not as hot as you, Andy.