Jon Stewart

What did your Nana do?

Run, Nana, run!

Does he lie to call this week?

Here it is, your moment is now.

I swear to God, I've never seen this before.

You announce a guest and a mosh pit forms.

You started going on there.

You're hearing that, man.

If you're watching tonight's program with a billionaire, you might want to get him some headphones because it's about to get all populist up in this bitch.

That's for sure.

But first, it's exciting news.

Believe me, I'm excited as well.

We're going to start, though, with the major news from this weekend.

New York's annual Halloween dog parade results.

That is not the picture we used in rehearsal.

It's a great reminder each year that dogs, like humans, are capable of experiencing humiliation.

Perhaps you missed this year's annual dog parade because you remained inside all weekend because you knew

if the No Kings protests would be taking place and you heard what that might be like.

That's a real photograph.

And so this weekend, we sat in our bunkers, doors locked, windows boarded, muskets and cyanide pills at the ready, prepared for whatever the hardest core had in store.