Jon Stewart

And the truth is, it's a bit of hyperbole from the opposition to think that this president is some sort of thin-skinned man-baby king sitting in his gilded throne room, demanding vengeance on his enemies while plotting Baroque and lavish monuments to his own ego, whilst sycophants plead for his benevolence through exotic tokens of fealty.

And go wild.

And scene.

This is a unique gift to the president, handmade and blown on the order of the CEO, and it still had to come in all that f***ing Apple packaging.

Enjoy the gift.

You can find it under all the secret compartments.

Oh, and the gift needs a charger, and the package doesn't include an adapter.

Oh, yeah.

All right.

So clearly, Trump has the lavish sensibilities of a king, the entitled mind of a king,

But if he was really a king, where's the broken down, inbred body of a king, saddled with the exotic infirmaries of royalty?

Like this guy, King Charles II of Spain.

Look, look at the picture.

Oh, I like the shading and little filter.

It makes it seem like my head is not an actual eggplant.

Say what you want about Trump.

He doesn't have any of that stuff.

There have been many questions about the president's health after photographs surfaced of his swollen ankles and bruised hands.

Okay, those are weird.

But a real king would have his minions dismiss said infirmaries.