Jon Stewart

I don't even know where that is.

Is Cyprus even on that risk board?

I don't even think it's around there.

So wait a minute, wait a minute, let me get this straight.

America and Israel attack Iran, and Iran's answer is to just attack everybody.

You know, having been in a bar fight or two in my life, I'm pretty sure the worst thing you can do during a two-on-one beatdown is slap everyone else.

Hey, hey, not every part of me is getting punched.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

The interesting thing about this war, which just started, was that it was clearly a long time in the planning, and yet the American people have heard very little that is consistent about the war's justification or ultimate aims.

In fact, the normally loquacious president had an opportunity with the national press on Sunday night after flying back from Mar-a-Lago to the White House, where I'm sure he'd want to clarify the public's uncertainty and reassure us.

Come on.

That's fake news.

He's not a doddering Mr. Magoo having full-on conversations with inanimate sculpted bronze.

Did you know the founders were 14 feet tall?

And so smooth.

By the way, if the president isn't being forthcoming in a time of war, it's not his power to declare war anyway.

Where's Congress on this?

This coming Thursday?

Thursday!