Jon Stewart

You do nothing.

You just sit there waiting for angels to grab you when we die.

I can't think of anything more dismissive and arrogant than this president not directly addressing the American people and explaining this war more thoroughly.

Well, good morning.

This is not a so-called regime change war.

But the regime sure did change.

Oh, for God's sakes.

I stand corrected.

Yes, apparently the responsibility of articulating our nation's military strategy in Iran fell to Alpha Beta alum...

Pete Hegseth, whose humility and just-the-facts-ma'am approach made him the perfect vessel for this important task.

We're not going to go into the exercise of what we will or will not do.

We would never, in front of a press pool, lay out how long that may take.

Here's exactly how far we'll go.

Here's what we're willing to do and not do.

It's foolishness.

We're not dumb about it.

Did you not hear my remarks?

Looks like somebody's been chugging a little too much Epic Fury.

I know you're the defense secretary, but you don't need to get so defensive.

I heard the question about four weeks.