Jonathan Fields

The second idea worth holding on to, attraction can grow over time.

For women especially, she shares, emotional chemistry and intellectual chemistry often arrive before physical attraction does.

The biological pull that we've been taught to wait for, the butterflies, is actually one of the least reliable signals that we have.

Your nervous system lighting up can mean chemistry.

It can also mean you're chasing something familiar that hasn't actually served you in the past.

And the third, particularly if you're coming back into dating after a long time away, you don't have to have it all figured out.

The fear that you're too broken or too complicated or too late is, as Bella put it, a common fear of all human beings.

It's not a fact about you.

It's something that can and will change over time through lived experience.

So notice this week which list you're actually using.

And hey, before you leave, next week we're sitting down with seven-time New York Times bestselling author Bruce Feiler to talk about something most of us have felt but never quite had words for.

The particular loneliness that arrives in the middle of a full life when the relationships that used to hold you steady disappear.

are all being renegotiated often all at once.

And the rituals that helped you and pretty much everybody move through those moments like we have for thousands of years have largely disappeared or stopped being effective.

So be sure to follow Good Life Project wherever you get your podcasts so you don't miss that or any upcoming episodes.

And do me a favor also, seven second favor, share this episode with just one person who might need to hear it today.

This episode of Good Life Project was produced by executive producers, Lindsay Fox and me, Jonathan Fields.

Editing help by Troy Young.

Chris Carter crafted our theme music.

And of course, if you haven't already, go ahead and follow us wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss a conversation.