Jonathan Fields

There's a sense of suffering that I need to figure out my way through.

There's a sense of rediscovery of who I am that I need to find my way through.

But I'm not alone in this.

There are so many other people in this same moment and maybe a lot of other people who I might meet

Um, and this is not something that needs to stop me from exploring, um, finding love.

Yeah, it's the internal shift.

It feels like a good place for us to come full circle in our conversation in this Container of Good Life project.

If I offer up the phrase to live a good life, what comes up?

Thank you.

So let's talk about some of the big ahas and actionable takeaways from this conversation.

One of the things I keep sitting with from the convo is it's how simple her core reframe actually is.

Just once you hear it, we spend so much energy focused on finding the quote right person.

And so little time asking whether we have correctly understood what right even means for us.

The elevator people exercise is the thing that I'd want you to carry out of this conversation in a central way, not the dream list, the elevator list, the people who already make you genuinely happy and the patterns that

and why they do.

Because Bella's point is that what you need in a partner you already know.

You just haven't looked at the data that you already have.

The second idea worth holding on to, attraction can grow over time.

For women especially, she shares, emotional chemistry and intellectual chemistry often arrive before physical attraction does.

The biological pull that we've been taught to wait for, the butterflies, is actually one of the least reliable signals that we have.