Jonathan Haidt

We're training kids.

We're training kids.

That's right. There are two parenting styles that have been discovered. They used to be class differentiated, but now they're not so much. And this is unequal childhoods. I've forgotten the name of the sociologist who did this. But she found in the 90s that sort of, you know, college-educated cultures, they did what she called concerted cultivation parenting. Concerted? Concerted cultivation.

That's right. There are two parenting styles that have been discovered. They used to be class differentiated, but now they're not so much. And this is unequal childhoods. I've forgotten the name of the sociologist who did this. But she found in the 90s that sort of, you know, college-educated cultures, they did what she called concerted cultivation parenting. Concerted? Concerted cultivation.

Yeah, like you're a little plant and I'm going to do all these things. I'm going to give you these experiences. I'm going to, you know, make you grow. Mm-hmm. Whereas working class families had what she called natural growth parenting, which is, you know, the kids are running around, they get into some trouble, they get out of trouble. And so there used to be that class difference.

Yeah, like you're a little plant and I'm going to do all these things. I'm going to give you these experiences. I'm going to, you know, make you grow. Mm-hmm. Whereas working class families had what she called natural growth parenting, which is, you know, the kids are running around, they get into some trouble, they get out of trouble. And so there used to be that class difference.

But what has been found in more recent research is that now even middle class and working class, we're all doing the concerted cultivation. And it's across racial groups as well.

But what has been found in more recent research is that now even middle class and working class, we're all doing the concerted cultivation. And it's across racial groups as well.

There's not any big race difference that I've found. That's right. So we're basically denying children the main training they need in childhood. And that's actually how I first got into this was noticing that the students who arrived on campus in 2014, 2015 were different than anything we'd ever seen.

There's not any big race difference that I've found. That's right. So we're basically denying children the main training they need in childhood. And that's actually how I first got into this was noticing that the students who arrived on campus in 2014, 2015 were different than anything we'd ever seen.

Very high rates of anxiety and depression. They filled up the mental health centers. They would sometimes be very anxious or even get upset if there was a speaker coming to campus that they didn't like. They thought this could be dangerous. And we're like, what do you mean dangerous? Like, what do you mean you need a safe space? So this was a distinct shift that you noticed.

Very high rates of anxiety and depression. They filled up the mental health centers. They would sometimes be very anxious or even get upset if there was a speaker coming to campus that they didn't like. They thought this could be dangerous. And we're like, what do you mean dangerous? Like, what do you mean you need a safe space? So this was a distinct shift that you noticed.

It was like all of a sudden, bam. That's right. That's right. Because... We thought at the time that the students coming in were millennials. We thought the millennial generation starts in 1981. We'll go maybe to 2000, we thought. But it turns out that if you're born in 1996, you just, on average, of course, there's a huge difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. On average, you're more anxious.

It was like all of a sudden, bam. That's right. That's right. Because... We thought at the time that the students coming in were millennials. We thought the millennial generation starts in 1981. We'll go maybe to 2000, we thought. But it turns out that if you're born in 1996, you just, on average, of course, there's a huge difference. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. On average, you're more anxious.

And so you come to school and now you see like someone has a very different opinion and you're like, you know, this is dangerous. This is terrible. I don't want to engage with this person. And so that's how I first noticed it. And so this is, you know, just the things you guys are talking about.

And so you come to school and now you see like someone has a very different opinion and you're like, you know, this is dangerous. This is terrible. I don't want to engage with this person. And so that's how I first noticed it. And so this is, you know, just the things you guys are talking about.

It's like if you block the kids from having these interpersonal skills, you put them into a space where they see more things as threatening, they're not going to thrive in college. In college, you need to be in discover mode. I have a whole chapter on discover mode versus defend mode. Mm-hmm. And it was a very sudden switch. Kids born in 1996 and later were more likely to be in defend mode.

It's like if you block the kids from having these interpersonal skills, you put them into a space where they see more things as threatening, they're not going to thrive in college. In college, you need to be in discover mode. I have a whole chapter on discover mode versus defend mode. Mm-hmm. And it was a very sudden switch. Kids born in 1996 and later were more likely to be in defend mode.

Yeah. So Canada was able to do this because they have a wonderful researcher professor at the University of British Columbia named Mariana Brussoni. And I talk about her work in chapter three of The Anxious Generation. And she's been pushing this for a long time, that kids need risky play. Risk is a feature, not a bug, of childhood.

Yeah. So Canada was able to do this because they have a wonderful researcher professor at the University of British Columbia named Mariana Brussoni. And I talk about her work in chapter three of The Anxious Generation. And she's been pushing this for a long time, that kids need risky play. Risk is a feature, not a bug, of childhood.