Jordan Harbinger

Like you just, this is the darkest moment of your life, possibly the end of your life.

And you're just thinking like, oh, someone's going to find this and it's going to make for a bad week.

I'm just, I don't want to do this.

Ah man, this is a very intense story.

First of all, I'm so very sorry that you've been struggling with this disorder.

Two disorders, basically.

Bipolar disorder and OCD, that's a lot to contend with.

Plus, struggling with the suicidal thoughts and plans and where to get help with all this.

I can hear how much pain you're in and I can hear what a number this mood stuff has done on you.

It sucks that people in the military don't know where to turn to treat some of this stuff without experiencing blowback.

That breaks my heart, honestly, and it seems extra hard.

I'm also sorry that you don't love the military and you just want to get out.

I don't think you're alone in that.

I think a lot of people share that view, but that must be exhausting and isolating.

I imagine the pension has been one huge motivation to stay alive.

I also hear from your letter that you're needing more than money to motivate you and you deserve that.

But listen, the fact that you stayed alive, that you have some big things to live for, including life on the other side of the military, that's incredible.

I'm also really glad you wrote in because we'd love to help and we'd love to see you get better.

So we wanted to get an expert's opinion on all this.

So we reached out to a licensed marriage and family therapist in California who currently works on a military base.