Jordan Klepper
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Meese sucking marinara out of shredded hospital sheets.
I had everything going for me.
Looks, brains, a solid four inches.
I didn't even know they had those.
And now society treats you like you're some criminal unworthy of a seventh chance.
And you think, screw it, I'll go on the dark web and buy the idea of a dead guy named Doug Schapovsky.
But sure enough, Schapovsky was a serial arsonist.
So now me, Doug, you can't get a job anywhere.
I mean, you only have one choice.
To sell these delicious food like pasta racks for only $3 a box.
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
You know what that sounds means?
It's time to check the old KDB email.
Lisa writes, hey, Costa, are you bullish on AI-enabled toys this holiday season?
Listen here, Lisa, when it comes to AI, I'm your guy, okay?
And by that, I mean, yes, I like it.
I don't know why I talk like this.
Ho, ho, ho, hit me!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, all right?
Now, that is a bad business move.