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Jordan Schlansky

👤 Person
2106 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

the company just say life okay life cereal now i did some experimenting and i had some revelations about these cereals now as a grown man uh you know i change as i go through life and my reaction every few years is different than the previous occasion so i determined that while life i still enjoy the taste and it's lower sugar than the others um there was some digestive instability what did you get the runs

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

Sometimes you feel stable in the gastrointestinal tract and sometimes you don't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

Sometimes you feel stable in the gastrointestinal tract and sometimes you don't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

Sometimes you feel stable in the gastrointestinal tract and sometimes you don't.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

There was no violent reaction. I'm aware of the subtleties of my body. You see, I look deep beneath the surface.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

There was no violent reaction. I'm aware of the subtleties of my body. You see, I look deep beneath the surface.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

There was no violent reaction. I'm aware of the subtleties of my body. You see, I look deep beneath the surface.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

If that's your face. I don't need a violent explosion to tell me something is wrong. I know I can detect subtleties in my body and my own digestion. Well, how subtle was it? You may not have even noticed it, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not sitting, I'm not hanging out by your toilet.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

If that's your face. I don't need a violent explosion to tell me something is wrong. I know I can detect subtleties in my body and my own digestion. Well, how subtle was it? You may not have even noticed it, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not sitting, I'm not hanging out by your toilet.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

If that's your face. I don't need a violent explosion to tell me something is wrong. I know I can detect subtleties in my body and my own digestion. Well, how subtle was it? You may not have even noticed it, but I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm not sitting, I'm not hanging out by your toilet.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

I said there were digestive instabilities. Digestive instability usually means one thing. For you it does, because you're a man of extremes, okay? So you hear this and you imagine... You imagine a man on a toilet bowl, you know, beat red face, sweat flying off his body.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

I said there were digestive instabilities. Digestive instability usually means one thing. For you it does, because you're a man of extremes, okay? So you hear this and you imagine... You imagine a man on a toilet bowl, you know, beat red face, sweat flying off his body.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

I said there were digestive instabilities. Digestive instability usually means one thing. For you it does, because you're a man of extremes, okay? So you hear this and you imagine... You imagine a man on a toilet bowl, you know, beat red face, sweat flying off his body.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm telling you is, do you need to know this particulars? Isn't the fact that there's digestive instability already a red flag to stay away from life cereal? Again, no, no offense to the Quaker Road Company. This was only my company.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm telling you is, do you need to know this particulars? Isn't the fact that there's digestive instability already a red flag to stay away from life cereal? Again, no, no offense to the Quaker Road Company. This was only my company.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm telling you is, do you need to know this particulars? Isn't the fact that there's digestive instability already a red flag to stay away from life cereal? Again, no, no offense to the Quaker Road Company. This was only my company.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm saying is I prize my gastrointestinal stability. I like to have certain conditions. I like to feel empty, light, okay? Light on my feet. I don't want to be bloated.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm saying is I prize my gastrointestinal stability. I like to have certain conditions. I like to feel empty, light, okay? Light on my feet. I don't want to be bloated.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

What I'm saying is I prize my gastrointestinal stability. I like to have certain conditions. I like to feel empty, light, okay? Light on my feet. I don't want to be bloated.

Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend
The Conan and Jordan Show – Beet Red Face

There's a pressure. It's a subtle pressure. OK, you feel a pressure in your bowel. Yeah, sometimes. And it's very subtle. OK, it's not that subtle. So the problem is when you have when you have this pressure, it desensitizes the bowel to what normal pressure should feel like. Anyway, regardless, let's move on from that. So I eliminated.