Julia Guglia

Hello.

Hello.

Hi, John. Thanks for taking my call.

Hi, John. Thanks for taking my call.

Yeah. All right. I'm 51. I've been working since I was 24 in a legit career. I have switched careers one time already. I'm kind of at that point again. However, my husband, who is well compensated and really good at what he does, has a very high stress job. We also have what I like to call the golden handcuffs. We're at a point in our life where we have a mortgage and college savings.

Yeah. All right. I'm 51. I've been working since I was 24 in a legit career. I have switched careers one time already. I'm kind of at that point again. However, my husband, who is well compensated and really good at what he does, has a very high stress job. We also have what I like to call the golden handcuffs. We're at a point in our life where we have a mortgage and college savings.

So the luxury that I had when I made that first career change is the timing is not the same. I'll put it that way. I have this pattern throughout my life of retreat, hide, push it down. To make way for everyone else's stress and problems, I don't stand up for my own. So here I am at a point in my life where I'm thinking I've got nine, 10 good years left till I want to retire.

So the luxury that I had when I made that first career change is the timing is not the same. I'll put it that way. I have this pattern throughout my life of retreat, hide, push it down. To make way for everyone else's stress and problems, I don't stand up for my own. So here I am at a point in my life where I'm thinking I've got nine, 10 good years left till I want to retire.

I'm in a job that while I love it, I feel it's at odds with its own industry and it's just riddled with politics and it's become rather unfulfilling and lets me lose sleep at night. But coming to my husband right now and saying, hey, this kind of sucks. I'd like to change things up. Feels like an impossibility. And I'm wondering, what's my right next step, as you like to say?

I'm in a job that while I love it, I feel it's at odds with its own industry and it's just riddled with politics and it's become rather unfulfilling and lets me lose sleep at night. But coming to my husband right now and saying, hey, this kind of sucks. I'd like to change things up. Feels like an impossibility. And I'm wondering, what's my right next step, as you like to say?

I hope that made sense.

I hope that made sense.

Okay.

Okay.

20 years.

20 years.

I can tell him usually how I feel. About most things, right? So we have a pretty solid marriage. This is a big one. And the reason I called in or sent into your show last week was I had a particularly bad day at work. And the message back was, I need you to not get fired or quit right now. I just can't.

I can tell him usually how I feel. About most things, right? So we have a pretty solid marriage. This is a big one. And the reason I called in or sent into your show last week was I had a particularly bad day at work. And the message back was, I need you to not get fired or quit right now. I just can't.

And I went, okay, so that's my usual, like, oh, okay, I'll just retreat, stuff it down, deal with it later.

And I went, okay, so that's my usual, like, oh, okay, I'll just retreat, stuff it down, deal with it later.

Yeah, that's very true, yes.

Yeah, that's very true, yes.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It is, which is why I'm at this breaking point.

It is, which is why I'm at this breaking point.

They're 15 and 11.

They're 15 and 11.

It sure does. It does.

It sure does. It does.

This is why I haven't just bailed on it and run to the next one because I'm just trading the names on the faces.

This is why I haven't just bailed on it and run to the next one because I'm just trading the names on the faces.

Absolutely. Yes.

Absolutely. Yes.

He's got this thing he's trying to survive, I think is fair to say.

He's got this thing he's trying to survive, I think is fair to say.

Yeah, yeah, okay. So the company he works for, he does really well, but they are being acquired soon. And there has been so much stripping of labor, basic functions in the HR side aren't getting done. So the stress for him and his coworkers has just been, and I don't use this term lightly, astronomical.

Yeah, yeah, okay. So the company he works for, he does really well, but they are being acquired soon. And there has been so much stripping of labor, basic functions in the HR side aren't getting done. So the stress for him and his coworkers has just been, and I don't use this term lightly, astronomical.

They're understaffed, overbooked, and it's an industrial field, so it's very much a man's world. And so men, they just tend to raz each other and drink and take a lot of Adderall to get through their days.

They're understaffed, overbooked, and it's an industrial field, so it's very much a man's world. And so men, they just tend to raz each other and drink and take a lot of Adderall to get through their days.

It's not?

It's not?

No, I know.

No, I know.

I'm not saying it's the right thing to do. I'm just telling you that's what he's managing.

I'm not saying it's the right thing to do. I'm just telling you that's what he's managing.

Okay. So here's the deal. This actually happened since I contacted your show.

Okay. So here's the deal. This actually happened since I contacted your show.

They have offered him a substantial amount of money to see the acquisition through to the end with no strings attached. Once that happens, he does not have to stay employed. That's the money to keep.

They have offered him a substantial amount of money to see the acquisition through to the end with no strings attached. Once that happens, he does not have to stay employed. That's the money to keep.

Yes. And so for the first time in a long time, we have a light at the end of the tunnel for this mess.

Yes. And so for the first time in a long time, we have a light at the end of the tunnel for this mess.

But you have a light at the end of the tunnel for his mess.

But you have a light at the end of the tunnel for his mess.

No, I think he would be open to that. I just don't know that I could come at it right now and keep my poop together.

No, I think he would be open to that. I just don't know that I could come at it right now and keep my poop together.

I think I would break down.

I think I would break down.

Why am I in such a raw emotional state?

Why am I in such a raw emotional state?

I've considered. Okay. So this all started with a career change as an idea to this, to find that target, not moving targets. I could go back to school and get caught up. And I live in the coding world. I could learn to code again. I would enjoy that. I've thought of just quitting entirely and being a stay-at-home mom, which if you told me this five years ago, I would have told you you were crazy.

I've considered. Okay. So this all started with a career change as an idea to this, to find that target, not moving targets. I could go back to school and get caught up. And I live in the coding world. I could learn to code again. I would enjoy that. I've thought of just quitting entirely and being a stay-at-home mom, which if you told me this five years ago, I would have told you you were crazy.

I've thought about selling our house, getting something smaller, more manageable, so that we wouldn't have the financial needs that we have, like unburdening ourselves a bit.

I've thought about selling our house, getting something smaller, more manageable, so that we wouldn't have the financial needs that we have, like unburdening ourselves a bit.

I've thought about just learning how to deal with the day-to-day work stresses that put me in this position in the first place instead of running from them because there are parts of this job that I do love and I absolutely love my team and the people I'm with. It's not all bad. I'm really stuck.

I've thought about just learning how to deal with the day-to-day work stresses that put me in this position in the first place instead of running from them because there are parts of this job that I do love and I absolutely love my team and the people I'm with. It's not all bad. I'm really stuck.

Oh, yeah. I don't really value myself.

Oh, yeah. I don't really value myself.

Again, he's reached a tipping point with his own stress.

Again, he's reached a tipping point with his own stress.

I don't know the answer then.

I don't know the answer then.

Yeah. Reckless.

Yeah. Reckless.

Nope, nothing like that.

Nope, nothing like that.

I feel like I'm going to just become a hermit, just withdraw entirely.

I feel like I'm going to just become a hermit, just withdraw entirely.

A break.

A break.

Growing up, I was told constantly that I was selfish.

Growing up, I was told constantly that I was selfish.

It wasn't until I moved out, started university, I kind of had to figure it out. I mean, it's a life skill, right? I was put in situations and I kind of started to figure it out. I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship that I finally just bailed on. I cut my losses because we own property. I got out of that. Switched careers because I was dying a slow death in it.

It wasn't until I moved out, started university, I kind of had to figure it out. I mean, it's a life skill, right? I was put in situations and I kind of started to figure it out. I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship that I finally just bailed on. I cut my losses because we own property. I got out of that. Switched careers because I was dying a slow death in it.

I was an engineer and switched over into the e-commerce world. and I found it much more of a creative outlet, and I enjoyed it, and I worked for a great company for years. They were my family. It was acquired and shut down, and now I'm just spinning, spinning my tires.

I was an engineer and switched over into the e-commerce world. and I found it much more of a creative outlet, and I enjoyed it, and I worked for a great company for years. They were my family. It was acquired and shut down, and now I'm just spinning, spinning my tires.

It started in 2016, and I was laid off in 2019.

It started in 2016, and I was laid off in 2019.

Not fully.

Not fully.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

I really think what it is, John, is avoiding like I'll go do my hobby instead of organizing my office. I will avoid anything that causes me anxiety. such as organization or getting rid of stuff.

I really think what it is, John, is avoiding like I'll go do my hobby instead of organizing my office. I will avoid anything that causes me anxiety. such as organization or getting rid of stuff.

I'm avoiding trying to figure out how to get my kids picked up from school starting in the new year because now we've been called back to work, and I no longer have the option to leave early, pick them up, and rejoin online. That's gone. So I'm avoiding that.

I'm avoiding trying to figure out how to get my kids picked up from school starting in the new year because now we've been called back to work, and I no longer have the option to leave early, pick them up, and rejoin online. That's gone. So I'm avoiding that.

It's just what I've always done. I know it's not working for me anymore.

It's just what I've always done. I know it's not working for me anymore.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, that's helpful. Thank you.

Well, that's helpful. Thank you.

No, it is.

No, it is.

Right.

Right.

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. Okay.

I have, oh, I've tried to draw, and I don't even want to write it down. I'm afraid someone else will read it.

I have, oh, I've tried to draw, and I don't even want to write it down. I'm afraid someone else will read it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yep, I do.

Yep, I do.

You want me to say that right now?

You want me to say that right now?

Okay. I am worth the effort that's coming.

Okay. I am worth the effort that's coming.

I do. Yes and no. I think it just depends on the day. And so the goal here is if I work towards the peace, I'll be reinforcing that message.

I do. Yes and no. I think it just depends on the day. And so the goal here is if I work towards the peace, I'll be reinforcing that message.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Hello.

Hi, John. Thanks for taking my call.

Yeah. All right. I'm 51. I've been working since I was 24 in a legit career. I have switched careers one time already. I'm kind of at that point again. However, my husband, who is well compensated and really good at what he does, has a very high stress job. We also have what I like to call the golden handcuffs. We're at a point in our life where we have a mortgage and college savings.

So the luxury that I had when I made that first career change is the timing is not the same. I'll put it that way. I have this pattern throughout my life of retreat, hide, push it down. To make way for everyone else's stress and problems, I don't stand up for my own. So here I am at a point in my life where I'm thinking I've got nine, 10 good years left till I want to retire.

I'm in a job that while I love it, I feel it's at odds with its own industry and it's just riddled with politics and it's become rather unfulfilling and lets me lose sleep at night. But coming to my husband right now and saying, hey, this kind of sucks. I'd like to change things up. Feels like an impossibility. And I'm wondering, what's my right next step, as you like to say?

I hope that made sense.

Okay.

20 years.

I can tell him usually how I feel. About most things, right? So we have a pretty solid marriage. This is a big one. And the reason I called in or sent into your show last week was I had a particularly bad day at work. And the message back was, I need you to not get fired or quit right now. I just can't.

And I went, okay, so that's my usual, like, oh, okay, I'll just retreat, stuff it down, deal with it later.

Yeah, that's very true, yes.

Okay. Okay.

Yeah.

It is, which is why I'm at this breaking point.

They're 15 and 11.

It sure does. It does.

This is why I haven't just bailed on it and run to the next one because I'm just trading the names on the faces.

Absolutely. Yes.

He's got this thing he's trying to survive, I think is fair to say.

Yeah, yeah, okay. So the company he works for, he does really well, but they are being acquired soon. And there has been so much stripping of labor, basic functions in the HR side aren't getting done. So the stress for him and his coworkers has just been, and I don't use this term lightly, astronomical.

They're understaffed, overbooked, and it's an industrial field, so it's very much a man's world. And so men, they just tend to raz each other and drink and take a lot of Adderall to get through their days.

It's not?

No, I know.

I'm not saying it's the right thing to do. I'm just telling you that's what he's managing.

Okay. So here's the deal. This actually happened since I contacted your show.

They have offered him a substantial amount of money to see the acquisition through to the end with no strings attached. Once that happens, he does not have to stay employed. That's the money to keep.

Yes. And so for the first time in a long time, we have a light at the end of the tunnel for this mess.

But you have a light at the end of the tunnel for his mess.

No, I think he would be open to that. I just don't know that I could come at it right now and keep my poop together.

I think I would break down.

Why am I in such a raw emotional state?

I've considered. Okay. So this all started with a career change as an idea to this, to find that target, not moving targets. I could go back to school and get caught up. And I live in the coding world. I could learn to code again. I would enjoy that. I've thought of just quitting entirely and being a stay-at-home mom, which if you told me this five years ago, I would have told you you were crazy.

I've thought about selling our house, getting something smaller, more manageable, so that we wouldn't have the financial needs that we have, like unburdening ourselves a bit.

I've thought about just learning how to deal with the day-to-day work stresses that put me in this position in the first place instead of running from them because there are parts of this job that I do love and I absolutely love my team and the people I'm with. It's not all bad. I'm really stuck.

Oh, yeah. I don't really value myself.

Again, he's reached a tipping point with his own stress.

I don't know the answer then.

Yeah. Reckless.

Nope, nothing like that.

I feel like I'm going to just become a hermit, just withdraw entirely.

A break.

Growing up, I was told constantly that I was selfish.

It wasn't until I moved out, started university, I kind of had to figure it out. I mean, it's a life skill, right? I was put in situations and I kind of started to figure it out. I ended up in an emotionally abusive relationship that I finally just bailed on. I cut my losses because we own property. I got out of that. Switched careers because I was dying a slow death in it.

I was an engineer and switched over into the e-commerce world. and I found it much more of a creative outlet, and I enjoyed it, and I worked for a great company for years. They were my family. It was acquired and shut down, and now I'm just spinning, spinning my tires.

It started in 2016, and I was laid off in 2019.

Not fully.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

I really think what it is, John, is avoiding like I'll go do my hobby instead of organizing my office. I will avoid anything that causes me anxiety. such as organization or getting rid of stuff.

I'm avoiding trying to figure out how to get my kids picked up from school starting in the new year because now we've been called back to work, and I no longer have the option to leave early, pick them up, and rejoin online. That's gone. So I'm avoiding that.

It's just what I've always done. I know it's not working for me anymore.

Okay.

Well, that's helpful. Thank you.

No, it is.

Right.

Yeah. Okay.

I have, oh, I've tried to draw, and I don't even want to write it down. I'm afraid someone else will read it.

Yeah.

Yep, I do.

You want me to say that right now?

Okay. I am worth the effort that's coming.

I do. Yes and no. I think it just depends on the day. And so the goal here is if I work towards the peace, I'll be reinforcing that message.

Okay. Okay.

Okay.