Wife Wants to Divorce After I Went to a Strip Club
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How do I navigate life after a sudden divorce?
We started to kind of do better, and I think she just felt an obligation. So my question is, how do I navigate life after a sudden divorce? And it wasn't even like a week, and she served me papers at like the beginning of November.
What in the world's going on? Happy New Year. This is John with the Dr. John Deloney Show. Talking about your relationships, your mental and emotional health. You're raising kids, trying to keep a marriage together. Look, whatever you got going on in your life, trying to navigate a divorce, whatever you got going on in your life, here's my promise. I'll sit with you and we'll figure out what's the next right move. Last two decades plus, I've been sitting with hurting people trying to figure out what's the next right move after they've blown their lives up or someone else has blown their life up or just life has happened. So if you want to be on the show, I'd love to have you. Give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to johndeloney.com slash ask. And before we start the show, please hit the subscribe button. Hit the subscribe button. Especially on the YouTubes and the podcast. It makes such a huge difference across the board for us. All right, let's roll out to East Texas. Almost Louisiana, but not quite. Tyler, Texas, and talk to Andrew. Hey, Andrew, what's up?
So my question is, how do I navigate life after a sudden divorce?
I don't know. What happened?
I have a few paragraphs, if you don't mind. Or would you rather just go into it?
I mean, yeah, don't read all the paragraphs, but just tell me the story.
Me and my wife got together in 2020. That's when we got married. I had trauma from a sexual assault that happened to me by a superior in the army in 2018. Sorry before that. No, it's okay. Thank you. Um, and then an abusive relationship before that. Um, uh, after I got out of the army, I was abusing alcohol while I was in, um, secretly, uh, keeping porn from her. Um, it got worse. Um, within the first year of marriage, um, I got out of the military, um, we moved in with her dad, um, as I was transitioning to civilian life, we both got civilian jobs. Um, she, uh, eventually, uh, started sitting in a, in her car with a coworker that was higher up than her and told her to stop. She did. Um, but kept doing it out of obligation. Um,
Like just sitting in the car like they were hanging out together a lot?
Yeah. She made it sound like they were just... Like that she was naive to his intentions. She was a virgin when we got together. So I kind of gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Were you wrong?
Yeah. Yeah, he had other intentions. Yeah.
And she did too. Yeah. Yeah. Well... Maybe not initially, but she did too.
Yeah, and I think it was definitely not my fault, but I did things that contributed, you know, like neglect and abusing weed after the Army and then lying about the porn. And so when I got a feeling something was going on, I came clean about half of my porn use, and I ended up catching her. At his place. We ended up staying together. She said that they had just kissed.
Okay.
And then two months after that, she came clean and said it was more than that. Sure. And right after that, I used porn as a kind of like to... make up for what she did. I was like, okay, you're going to be okay with porn. And she had seen that as cheating before, like when we early in our marriage before any of this.
And, um, so bring me to now y'all get, y'all just finally called it. Cause this sounds like just a mess.
Yeah. So after that we went to therapy, a therapist kind of said, okay, that was sexual assault because she tried to leave the two times that there was sexual assault. And the second time was at the workplace and she said no. And he got aggressive with her. Okay. And so it leaned more towards that, even though she had put herself in the positions.
And so with therapy, I mean, sexual assault, the sexual assault, the sexual assault, um, I guess going over to somebody's house, hoping that it is just goes halfway and not all the way. I mean, this whole thing is messy, but I, I don't, I want to always start with if somebody gets sexually assaulted, you in the, in the army, um, her at the workplace, her with the boss, her with the power deck.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
How do I navigate life after a sudden divorce?
0:05–12:15
2
What should I do when my spouse wants a divorce?
12:15–17:33
3
How do I deal with feelings of shame and isolation?
17:33–24:56
4
What steps can I take to improve my mental health?
24:56–28:50
5
How do I communicate effectively with my spouse?
28:50–36:47
6
What are the signs of a toxic work environment?
36:47–48:10
7
How can I prioritize my well-being over financial stress?
48:10–59:14
8
What strategies can help me find fulfillment in my career?
59:14–1:00:43