Julie Holland

And the grandparent says, the one you feed.

So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do.

Well, I'm not going to touch that.

It's interesting, though, as you were talking about your partner that you're yoked to, it made me think about a section in the book where you are talking about when we fall in love, there's this limerence period.

There's sort of a high or not sort of.

There actually is a high that comes from that.

And then we settle into the harder work of building a relationship.

And you have a line there where you say this.

The optimal outcome, the way out of the dead end, the dead end being the tendency to just kind of like keep looking for something else, you accept and embrace all the disowned traits in your partner and that helps you accept them in yourself.

And I was thinking about how it sounds like you found the way to do that.

You found the way to appreciate the way in which your partner is different than you and how that is helpful.

I'm not saying all the time you feel that way, but that in general you do.

And how did you get to a place where you were able to see that as different but a positive compliment to you versus this person is wrong about the way they see things or do things?

What does being a tough guy mean in that sort of circumstance or that sort of situation?

At Bellevue?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you find that you're able as you've become softer to use your words or less hardened?

I might say more compassionate.