Kail Lowry

And obviously everyone in Susie's camp, even though they didn't really like her that much...

Still backed her up when it came to my dad.

Don't talk about it.

Don't speak about it.

And if we talk about it, we're not going to have really great things to say.

And then you go on the other side of it and it's like, well, this is my story.

I fully understand.

understanding that there are multiple sides to the story no matter how much you love someone and you want to believe what they're saying and maybe what they're saying is their truth but there is another side to it so I think it taught me a lot and I just so Alessandra just said like maybe me crying when I was going through the entire process with my dad was more like

grieving the potential of my dad and what could have been versus the actual death.

And I think that is spot on.

Like it's, I know that people say you can't miss what you never had.

And in some ways that is true.

But like, I was sort of like,

more upset at that point that it was like, I didn't get to see this side of you growing up.

I didn't get to make the decision.

And I kind of always said that too.

Like when I have talked about my situation, it's like my mom made those decisions for me.

She

And then I also understand that to me, an absent father is better than an in and out father.

And so in some ways, like it is a parent protecting their child.