Karen Kilgariff

Yeah. He even offered her his own money. Turns out his not fully formed brain was concocting a plan to give her monopoly money in exchange for his life, which is equal parts funny and absolutely heartbreaking. Yes. As she undoubtedly shouted at him to shut up and continued dragging him to the payphone, the football team on the practice field began to notice something was wrong.

Yeah. He even offered her his own money. Turns out his not fully formed brain was concocting a plan to give her monopoly money in exchange for his life, which is equal parts funny and absolutely heartbreaking. Yes. As she undoubtedly shouted at him to shut up and continued dragging him to the payphone, the football team on the practice field began to notice something was wrong.

I have searched high and low for an article about this, which I know exists because I've seen it, but because I can't find it and because I hate asking my parents and brother to relive this part of their lives, I am recounting this from memory as best as I can. The football players saw my brother crying and this disheveled woman holding a knife and correctly assumed he was in danger.

I have searched high and low for an article about this, which I know exists because I've seen it, but because I can't find it and because I hate asking my parents and brother to relive this part of their lives, I am recounting this from memory as best as I can. The football players saw my brother crying and this disheveled woman holding a knife and correctly assumed he was in danger.

They surrounded the woman and one of the players tackled her. As football players are wont to do, I guess. I'm not sure what part of scary lady with a small child and knife made the idea of tackling seem appealing, but that is indeed what happened. The police were called, probably using the very payphone she planned to ransom my brother through because 80s.

They surrounded the woman and one of the players tackled her. As football players are wont to do, I guess. I'm not sure what part of scary lady with a small child and knife made the idea of tackling seem appealing, but that is indeed what happened. The police were called, probably using the very payphone she planned to ransom my brother through because 80s.

And my hysterical brother relayed that he lived two blocks over and wanted to go home. Yeah. So that is how my mother came to find out that my brother actually never made it to the neighbor's house at all. And it says, because calling to make sure he arrived safely just wasn't a thing.

And my hysterical brother relayed that he lived two blocks over and wanted to go home. Yeah. So that is how my mother came to find out that my brother actually never made it to the neighbor's house at all. And it says, because calling to make sure he arrived safely just wasn't a thing.

and instead was dragged by a stranger in search of a payphone, but was luckily intercepted, pun intended, you're welcome, Georgia, by the football team and returned to my mother.

and instead was dragged by a stranger in search of a payphone, but was luckily intercepted, pun intended, you're welcome, Georgia, by the football team and returned to my mother.

My brother doesn't like to talk about this incident much, but he did surprise me once when he brought it up and credited this experience for his obsession with personal safety slash weapons and trying to keep our family safe from harm. He is a wonderful man who would move mountains for those he loves. And he has always been there to bail me out of a few unfortunate situations.

My brother doesn't like to talk about this incident much, but he did surprise me once when he brought it up and credited this experience for his obsession with personal safety slash weapons and trying to keep our family safe from harm. He is a wonderful man who would move mountains for those he loves. And he has always been there to bail me out of a few unfortunate situations.

I am beyond lucky that our story didn't end in tragedy like so many others. And I am so grateful that I can find a modicum of humor in such a terrible memory. I think that is why I relate to your podcast so much. My family has always imbued humor into sad or scary situations for better or worse. Stay sexy and make sure your kid arrives safely at their friend's house.

I am beyond lucky that our story didn't end in tragedy like so many others. And I am so grateful that I can find a modicum of humor in such a terrible memory. I think that is why I relate to your podcast so much. My family has always imbued humor into sad or scary situations for better or worse. Stay sexy and make sure your kid arrives safely at their friend's house.

Offer your kidnapper monopoly money. Don't offer your kidnapper monopoly money. Oh, wait, I've got it. Stay sexy and let the football team rescue you, Virginia.

Offer your kidnapper monopoly money. Don't offer your kidnapper monopoly money. Oh, wait, I've got it. Stay sexy and let the football team rescue you, Virginia.

A hundred percent. And then like this woman probably had mental health problems, which is so sad. But like a knife to a six or seven year old child is just... Just no. Wrestle her immediately to the ground. Yeah, these teenagers...

A hundred percent. And then like this woman probably had mental health problems, which is so sad. But like a knife to a six or seven year old child is just... Just no. Wrestle her immediately to the ground. Yeah, these teenagers...

I don't know Belize that well, but shit.

I don't know Belize that well, but shit.