Kat Van Buren

Is there something that I've done or just staying with the I statements or I made up these stories in my head versus why aren't you talking to me?

Like I feel a distance.

Is there something I'm missing?

I would love to know like stuff like that.

Yeah, I think the general rule of thumb is try six meetings before you say I'm never going back.

At the one place.

Well, I would even say six meetings in general, if that feels like overwhelming to you, because like you said, there's so many different types of meetings that you might hate the co-ed open one, but you might love the women's group or you might, it might be too much for you to go to the in-person one.

It overwhelmed you.

And so Zoom you really like.

So I would keep trying until you go to six meetings.

And then also I like that you said you don't have to talk.

It was so easy.

And I, you also have to be open because I think this is not always the case, but like you're saying it's easy to just place the blame on the other person and

we're also often enabling or doing something or there is something on our side of the street that we can focus on.

And the more we can focus on that, the easier I think it also gets.

And when at first you might be like, this is not my problem.

Yeah.

But I think also seeing all the other people paying attention to their side of the street helps release that like shame or or resistance to doing that.

And so it's very helpful.

Accountability.