Kate Murphy

Because all of us, we move into and out of synchrony all the time throughout the day.

The relationships that last are the ones that you're in sync more than you're not.

But to really maintain our own sense of emotional regulation and just sense of self,

You cannot be and do not want to be totally in sync with another person all the time.

It's unhealthy.

Just like having too much food's unhealthy or too much water's unhealthy, too much thinking's unhealthy as well.

Mm-hmm.

It's this sense of couples talk about it, but it can happen with friends, it can happen with colleagues, where you take on their stress or their sadness or their anxiety, and you're almost not aware of it.

You can even be separated from that person and just start feeling off and not really be aware where it's coming from because, again, when we embody someone else, it feels like it's coming from within us.

So you have to be vigilant of, okay, why am I feeling this way?

Where is this coming from?

And to be able to say, okay, this is hers or this is his.

And I'm going to, again, let you have your feelings and I'm going to maintain where I am because I can be much more helpful to you if I'm outside of that than if I'm in it.

That's really to think about it on the other side.

What am I transmitting to other people?

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly.

It's like wearing your mask or whatever.

It's realizing, okay, what am I bringing to this interaction?

Am I showing up angry because of a fight I had with somebody before?