Katherine Woodward Thomas

Yes, and then there's a deeper level of complexity.

I'm going to bring it all in because you have such a great audience who's following you and knows all this stuff already.

But if you're in and out and invisible and you know that you need to speak up and tell your truth, what you might not know is that you're speaking through the filter of other people don't really care about me and other people are selfish.

If you ask somebody for what you need through the filter of other people don't care about me, it's going to come out like, well, I want a glass of water too, you know, as opposed to, hey, honey, would you get me a glass of water?

Right, which then makes people defensive and will get your own, right?

That's how we're generating our own experience through the consciousness that we're centered in.

Yeah, globalizing that.

This happens a lot with I'm not safe.

People feel I'm not safe.

So they're going into their close relationships like this.

Okay, prove yourself.

Right, right.

Because the projection onto others from the I'm not safe is others have ill intent, others are going to hurt me.

So this is where you get love avoidant behavior, people crazy making, destabilizing, in, out, push, pull, long distance, you know, all that stuff, trying to manage how you can have love, but not have commitment, not have anybody too close to you because people will hurt.

So in order to really evolve beyond something like love addiction or love avoidance, you really have to get to the root of it, which is this is the core belief.

How old is that part of me?

You have to differentiate your wise self from your wounded self.

Usually when we get triggered, the wounded self is in charge and running the show.

So we have to learn how to hold and contain our own younger selves that were wounded with deep compassion, presence, love, but get that little baby buckled up in the backseat of the car and not driving the car.

Yeah, beautiful question.