Kathryn Hecht

It's actually central to how the brain learns safety, through what's called inhibitory learning.

Bravery only rewires the brain when fear is present.

No one gets confident they can handle hard stuff without handling hard stuff.

I explained to Sammy that Worry is a bossy bully, but bullies stop messing with you once you say no.

In order to shrink Worry, he needed to show that bully who's boss through practice being brave.

Now, of course, Sammy was immediately convinced by my explanation and was like, ah, yes, Catherine, absolutely.

Give me some Bs.

No, oh my gosh, he was like, uh, thanks, hot take.

I will consider that.

But this is where grownups come in.

A growing body of research from Yale Child Study Center and others shows that we as parents can change child anxiety just by changing our own behavior.

If we parents go from prioritizing comfort through accommodation

to prioritizing confidence through practice, we can make it much more likely that kids will take that leap into brave action.

Parenting for confidence means supporting kids at each step of the ABC recipe.

It means creating opportunities for anxiety through adventure.

No kid jumps off the high dive if you never take them to the pool.

I asked Sammy's parents to give him some confidence-building opportunities by resuming their family's summer fun.

Walk to ice cream, smell the flowers, eat the watermelon on the cabin deck.

Parenting for confidence also means be the bravery you wish to see in your child.

Show your kid that they can handle this by modeling it.