Kathryn Hecht

Do the scary thing.

Sammy's parents didn't make Sammy go outside on the deck, but they did go out there and enjoy some watermelon despite the wasps.

This is jumping in the pool and showing the water's fine.

Third,

We need to celebrate confidence-building actions.

Cheer for and reward those brave stubs.

Brave is hard work, and hard work deserves reward.

Sammy built a bravery ladder to face his fears.

It went from bee pictures to videos to Dan.

Dan is a dead bee in a jar in my office.

And finally, real bees.

Each step earned brave points, which Sammy cashed in for trips to new restaurants.

Now, at this point, a warning.

Parenting for confidence is brave parenting.

It asks for bravery from kids, yes, but it requires bravery from parents.

Watching your kid panic before the hockey game and sending them out onto that ice anyway, asking them to eat in the den of snakes that is a middle school lunchroom,

Or, if you are me, peeling your protesting one-year-old off your body, passing them to a teacher at daycare, and then walking out the door before bursting into tears?

This is incredibly emotionally hard.

These actions ask us to place a bet on our child's ability to cope when they themselves are screaming, don't bet on me.

But here's the secret.