Kathryn Hecht

The same way that anxious kids can transfer their anxiety to adults, adults can transfer their own confidence to kids.

Thanks to social referencing, or how kids look to adults to gauge safety, if we stand our ground and remain calm, we can lend our kids a nervous system.

Our job during that wave of anxiety is not to get kids off the ride, but to be their warm, steady anchor, a lap bar on the roller coaster of distress, the secure base that says, come what may, I love you, I will always love you, no matter what.

So, you want confident kids?

Let them struggle, not suffer.

Struggle.

because confidence doesn't come from praise or protection.

It comes from practice.

Practice being scared and doing it anyway.

It is hard, but it's worth it, because here's the best part.

Bravery is contagious.

One act of courage lights the way for the next, not just for your kid, but for the people around them.

The kid who faces their fear of bees doesn't just play outside again.

They raise their hand in class.

They try out for the school play.

They speak up when something is wrong because they start to ask, what else am I capable of?

And when they do, someone else gets a little braver too.

By facing fear to do what matters, you give others the faith that they can do the same.

That is why this work matters, not just so your child feels less anxious, but because all of our children are inheriting a world of hard, complicated problems.

Polarized communities, economic disruption, global uncertainty.