Kati Morton

And we slowly kind of draw the blueprint for life and how we're gonna engage in it.

And that's usually where these types of patterns come from, for better, for worse, right?

We might be like, hey, our family's really good at getting over a conflict and coming back together and repairing.

Yay, so we grow up with that blueprint.

Or it could be, hey, my family's really good at pretending everything's okay even when it's not.

I think a lot of people, especially more recently, think it's a problem and realize it.

But it's not just, aha, oh my God, I hate that I do this.

I don't think the realization is so clear like that.

I think it's more like I feel tired and I don't know why or I'm super stressed or I feel anxious.

It kind of comes out in other ways because if you think about it, if we're always putting everybody else first, then that means that our needs aren't getting met and we might find ourselves exhausted.

or unable to sleep at night, or even getting sick a lot.

There can be a lot of different ways that it can come out.

And I feel like it's through the repetition of those kinds of symptoms that we then realize like, oh my God, what's happening?

Like, why is this happening to me?

Why do I keep doing this?

Why do I keep feeling this way?

And that kind of curiosity, the wondering of the why is how we discover it.

I think the best first step in that is honestly just realizing how it shows up for you.

One of the first homework assignments my therapist gave me was to notice how often I say sorry every day.

And for anybody who doesn't struggle with people pleasing, they're like, this would not be a big deal.