Kati Morton

When I tell you the number was embarrassingly high and I stopped counting midday because it was ridiculous,

you know, that was a good place to start.

I know a lot of times when we're doing like self-care or self-help stuff, we think like, I want this quick fix, or I want these five steps to get better.

In the case of, you know, of control and us trying to control things that we can't, it's less about quick fixes and more about showing ourselves compassion as we try to act differently.

So in that example, like, oh, I say sorry all the time.

instead of thinking like oh katie why do you keep doing this so stop it already just stop saying sorry that would be the goal sure but instead i needed to realize like how often i was doing it what was triggering it was it certain situations are there certain places i do it more and then

My therapist had me, as odd as this sounds, one of the places I apologize the most is like public spaces, like sharing like a grocery store aisle with people.

I say sorry all the time, or I'm traveling right now.

So the airport is also a place where I would do this a lot.

And I can always hear my therapist voice where she's like, you don't have to apologize for taking up space.

You don't have to apologize for being here.

And so that's kind of that first step of work is like, hey, it shows up for me this way.

And so I'm going to try to not do that.

And I know that's very specific, but if each of us are kind of honest with the patterns that we see, we can also, you know, identify some behaviors that we could maybe shift a little bit.

It's not, you know, all or nothing, but apologize a little less when I'm not sorry, when I'm just being a human sharing space.

That's a great question.

My therapist asked me the same thing.

The truth is I don't know.

And I know that makes me sound like I'm losing my marbles.

I promise you I'm not.