Kati Morton

It's that I feel like if, so here's an example and this will kind of help me explain it.

Like if let's say you and I are in the grocery store and I haven't met you before, I don't know you.

And we're both looking at cereal.

And you've wanted to cross over where I am looking at cereal because like you want to get to the granola and it's on that side.

As you cross my path and I step back to give space to you, I will apologize.

And it's not because I'm sorry.

I'm not sorry for anything.

That was kind of the next step.

My therapist said, she's like, if you can't tell me what you're sorry for, I don't want you apologizing.

And like, let me know how that feels.

It felt terrible.

But I think it's less about what,

what it means to say I'm sorry and to apologize.

And it was more of a like, I am taking up too much space.

Like I haven't earned the right to be here.

It's a little deeper than I'm sorry.

And it's more of a, I, other people always come first.

Yes, I think there are the people like me who apologize and there's people that don't see any reason for that at all.

And I think that's the interesting thing about control or this illusion of control because for me, it shows up like that.

That's one of the ways it manifests.