Kati Morton

And that's because they didn't really exist in that relationship fully.

I know we can still have these like, well, if I'm not married to them, my life is shifted and there's going to be changes.

But this is a deeper identity problem where it's like, I'm not sure what food I like.

I'm not sure what movies I want to watch.

Simple things that other people might take for granted.

If we've been abandoning ourselves for years, we have lost touch with who we are and it can take us some time to

get back connected.

Like I talk about in the book, like taking yourself on a date, go out.

What do we do?

How do we get to know people?

We spend time with them.

So you have to spend time with yourself and get reconnected.

Letting go is hard for me.

I talk about it a lot that I still struggle and I'll still find myself trying to tightly clench onto something.

I had to, as I talk about in the book, redefine what letting go meant.

That if I let go of something, let go of an outcome, it wasn't because I didn't care.

It wasn't because it wasn't important in any way to me.

I realized that letting go meant I'm not going to waste my energy and my brain space on something that I don't have control over anyways.

And easier said than done.

And so what I really had to do is instead of, again, instead of going to Mount Kilimanjaro, I have to go all this way.