Katie

was just so dismissive based off five seconds of seeing me um it was really really difficult because it brought up so much rejection and so much um kind of getting you know thrown out or treated like um

a piece of meat and like something to be you know discarded like ill to and I'm so much more than my physical body and I have so much love to give and so much you know beauty to bring into somebody's life emotionally like I feel like I'm

Real wifey material, you know?

And to be so quickly tossed aside really carried with it so much, so many triggers because...

you know in this just in this world alone it's just shallow and gross and but for me I have a pretty dark past with relationship with regards to male interactions where I have been reduced to what I am physically and I have been reduced to being a piece of meat to have their way with and then throw away like I didn't matter

and I felt that again I felt everything just get ripped open again but it was in front of so many people and it was yeah it was really really tricky and I like tried to hold myself together and I tried to you know just be in my own

headspace and and self self-soothe as much as I could um and yeah I got out of there and I and then I watched it back in particular and I saw myself as somebody who hadn't yet healed

and I could see the physical repercussions of my lifestyle and I was like no I'm not gonna let that keep happening to me nobody gets that power anymore so yeah it's been a big turnaround but it's a lot of yeah triggers and you know we all hold our trauma in different ways right

Some people wrote too that I saw, you know, oh, she's just such a pain, like crying all the time.

Like, oh, no wonder she's not wanted or no wonder this, no wonder that.

Oh, she's just so emotional.

And I was like, oh, if only you knew.

I finally got myself to a place in life where I really liked who I am.

I really liked how I was in the world.

I liked the person on the inside and I was really proud of myself and all the struggles that I've been through and pulled myself out of on my own.

I feel like I really love who I am.

And then to have somebody, like, not even have a tiny glimpse of that and not only that but also turn it or try to flip it to make me the bad person or make me the person in the wrong, I was like, oh, what is actually happening?

Like, so...

Yeah, I was obviously upset that this situation was playing out the way it was.

But I did bounce back pretty quickly outside of things and I did see what I needed to do for myself.