Kelly

But the way he went about it was very difficult.

because he did not explain that to me at first.

So at first it just looked like not talking to me at all, not giving me a reason.

So months would go by and I wouldn't hear from him.

Even when I tried to reach out to him, I wouldn't get, he wouldn't pick up the phone or I wouldn't get a text back.

And I just thought he needed some time.

So after a few months or a couple months go by, I reach out to him.

and he he had told me that he i forget what he said first but at at one point when i called him i was i was just asking him why he had not been talking to me or why he doesn't want me in his life and he just says i i don't want a relationship with you right now and then during that conversation i realized that i was fighting for somebody who wasn't fighting for me too and

So I had to come to terms with that.

And that was like the biggest heartbreak of my life so far because

never in a million years would have thought he would have not wanted to have a relationship with me because growing up we were so close so my heart just shattered after that and I didn't think that yeah I just didn't think that he could ever do that to me so I had to imagine a world without him I had to realize he didn't want to be in my life so during the time that we did not talk I

I started, my mind started to wander.

I thought like there had to be a better explanation for why he can't have a relationship with me.

I mean, all I did was tell him that I didn't want to be his therapist.

So I started thinking maybe there is truth to behind what Brian's delusions are.

Maybe like something did actually happen.

maybe that's why he's triggered so much by my dad but I didn't want my mind to wander there so I started just repressing it and

well, suppressing it and just putting it in the back of my mind.

So for about a whole year, I didn't have a relationship with my dad.

And then my wedding was about to happen just this past March.