Kelly

So it is also a one-way relationship that I would have to be pursuing.

And I'm at a point right now where I am not interested.

I just want to focus on my own life, like you were saying too, because I'm...

extremely happy with my separate life.

There's just a lot of big things going on for my husband and I and it's just been hard to

do that without feeling guilt too because i feel like i should be trying harder for a relationship with him and trying to make him happy and do things for him but it's just it's just not possible right now with all that's going on in my own life so so i see him when i can and the times that we do like at holidays

is also uncomfortable because he will he sings his favorite thing is singing and i think that's how he lets it all out and he how he copes with things but he will sing all day like and that's not an exaggeration yeah literally all day like

but to the top of his lungs where it's it is bothersome i mean i don't think anyone wants to hear that all day you know but we don't really know how to tell him not to so when he comes over a lot of times we host gatherings at our house for holidays and when he does come over and starts to sing we do have to tell him to stop because we don't want to upset neighbors and that has

definitely been a situation like at my dad's house just this past week he was singing to the top of his lungs i guess and the neighbor called the cops on him but because the cops have been there so many times they have updated my neighbors on the situation and so they know about brian and apparently he wasn't singing that loud but they still called the cops on him as a noise complaint and

I don't want that happening at our house too.

So it's just uncomfortable.

when we get together because we have to always deal with that.

Right.

yes and to be up up front with those feelings too like it's okay that we're not always feeling happy when he's around or like that we do have these feelings of like sadness but also anger and frustration like why why do you have to sing like all the time or

We invited our friends over for the first time, including our, my side of the family.

And, and that included Brian.

Cause we always want to try to include him, but when he's there, he is singing in front of everybody or he's saying he's talking to himself or.

having conversations that don't make sense so it just makes it hard it just makes it harder we have to explain to people what's going on it's just such a conflicting thing because you want to be like it doesn't matter what people think but at the same time when you are somebody with social anxiety and just like i'm just super aware of everybody and how they're feeling

I don't want to make other people uncomfortable.

So it's just hard to have him there.