Kelsey Cook
Appearances
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
this is the one this is it yeah and so now he meant it and so now he's has it happened again oh now i just i just spend the money now wow okay good yep all right it's that we're both on a plane so much you do start to notice like if you are sitting in main cabin week after week your neck gets so of course you're not sleeping well you're preaching to the fire it's like yeah the second i got a credit card i was like i have never going back it's an investment in your health
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
It's an investment in your health.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
God, do you have one? I do. Go for it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. My brain is scrambled from meeting. Oh, your parents, essentially. Yeah, when I was young, meeting big foosball players, that was exciting to me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Two of the funniest. Two of the best. That's so nice, guys. Thank you.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, man. Well, Cindy Head is like... That's a good one. She's like an ex-cop from Alabama, and she is the winningest person in foosball. She has the most championships, if anybody, in foosball. So, I mean, you grow up, and you kind of hear about these people, and then you meet them at a tournament. Yeah, that's a celebrity to you. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
When I was in college, I got to interview Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Whoa! And that was very cool. I worked for, like, an ESPN affiliate in college for a little bit where you were, like, student reporting. And that was... That's a great one.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, my God. I feel like I shouldn't even be allowed to talk to you. You're such a massive person. And I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I got a fucking little camcorder. I mean... That's awesome. He was very nice.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
That's a really good one.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Well, we're super stoked. You said you were the third couple, but you also had Tom and Christina separately. Tom and Christina separately. Yes. Okay.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Cheney High School. Cheney? Cheney.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
You don't know how to spell Cheney? C-H-E-N-E-Y.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
There can't be anything. Nothing? It's a fucking tumbleweed. We got two.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
A football player? Yeah. All right. You should be on there.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No, no, no. But I do remember, I think we have a gym named after him.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
At your age. Go ahead, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Nope. It's like a power skip. Yeah. It's a weird event.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, you know, there's, like, we got to navigate morning poops where it's, like, I got to go. Don't go anywhere near there for 20 minutes. Like, that's kind of the only thing that we have to coordinate. Other than that, it's fine. It's tough in hotel rooms.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
What is this? Yeah, frosted glass. I'm like, I don't need you seeing my silhouette as I shit at 8 a.m. This is a horrifying way to start the day together. Yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No, we're not doing the drawers anymore. I'll occasionally hang up a shirt if it's going to get really wrinkly. Normal. I learned something about him yesterday. A really big germaphobe with the hotel carpet. I set a pillow on the ground, and he's like, that can't come back on the bed. I wouldn't do that. Interesting, interesting, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
They're like Burke and stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
When I moved over to Minnesota, I had two cats. I thought you'd been on a trip. Oh, God, no.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yep, and he came, so we each had a cat. Oh, man.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Just over two years.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So slippers in the house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, I'm about to finish the ACOTAR series. What's that? You guys heard of this? A Court of Thorns and Roses. It's like fairy porn.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Is that what you said? Yeah, the first one's called A Court of Thorns and Roses, and there's five of them, and then each one is like a court of something else. And you're about to finish the series. About to finish the fifth one. It's like taken over. It's like adult Twilight.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
We got a new place together. Did you?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
True. But I moved from Spokane, which is trash capital of America, I feel, to Minnesota to live with him. That's right. So he moved.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
We did have a little Beatles quotes book that he got for Christmas. Okay, that's fair. That was a nice little read.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah. We're wordling and turtling.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Should we tell him? We've been doing this for so long. We have a tournament going all the time where we're competing against each other in wordle and nurdle and curdle.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So Nerdle is like the... Talk about fairy porn. Yikes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, Nerdle's the math version of Wordle. So you're trying to guess an equation, basically. And then Quirtle is like Wordle but times four. We're like 97. We like puzzles and stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, I used to do 3D puzzles when I was a kid, but not 3DR.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, it was like a jigsaw puzzle, but the pieces were thick and made of foam in the middle, and so you would build castles and stuff. I had a lot of friends.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So Chad had a house before we moved in together. And so he had way more stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
He was fully adult, like raised children in this house. He's got paintings, like real adult. I was living in apartments. So he had more of a like, hey. can we put these paintings I have up? And I didn't mind too much.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, we knew we were going to be there for not long.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah. I mean, I don't think we'd doubt it. I wouldn't have moved across the fucking country to Minnesota in the middle of January if I felt like this wasn't going to work. I don't even tour there in the middle of January. That's like a brutal move. So, I mean, I think we both felt pretty confident. But buying a – I mean, this is my first house.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
We bought a house. Wait, you bought a house together? Yeah. Really? Wow.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Wait, really? Do you not work in the summer?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Chad's really like he has lived his life exactly the way he wants to.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Sometimes there's little stress. I take more work in the summer than he does. Not much. He's been a good example of trying to have more balance in my life and not just be on the road all the time. But I also like, I like our, we bought our dream house. It's amazing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So to go out to the cabin, it's like I got to drive the cats out there. He loves water. I'm not like a big swimmer, not a big bug person. So he, it's like his. Huge bug guy. Big bug guy. I love him.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So what are you doing out there all summer by yourself? His kids. His daughter comes home from college. He's living life, man. He could live by himself forever, though.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I think we've got like a restaurant one. Don't bring me into this. Maybe an Abercrombie and Fitch. Okay. I got a few, yeah. It's like you got eight bucks on it or something, and you're like, well, fuck. I'm holding on to it. It feels dumb to throw it away, but when are you going to use it? I don't know.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
He's got to, yeah. For being as garbage as he is, he is truly a prince in disguise. He is Delta 360. What?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Also, if this place is offering gift cards, this is something you have to picture on a daily basis. One of these servers is probably running one of these cards. It's not personal. You can't hope that somebody gave that to you as a gift.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
There's a reason he didn't ask me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Why did you say it like that? Cashews? Did the Delta 360 start getting to your... Yeah, you got a real fucking hoity-toity on me, Dan.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Can I tell you? Now, we had to shake hands before we opened the door.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
We've done everything. I love it. I know. That's just like what they do. We got life insurance recently. Bought a house. We've done all of these big things before marriage. Not all of them, but...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Something's starting. Like what? You know what's fun? So today's my birthday. Happy birthday, buddy! Thank you, and I'm not, that's very nice, thank you. I'm just saying it so that when he starts to get sassy today, today's my one day a year where I can give him a look like, it's my fucking birthday. Be nice. What are the plans for the birthday?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Well, we're doing... We kind of did stuff yesterday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He surprised me with tickets to Glen Gary... Right. Not cheap tickets either. On Broadway, yes. Yes. Got me... You get so uncomfortable when I say nice things about you. Got me a really nice Toomey backpack. Very nice. Really, really spoiled me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
And then we were telling you guys beforehand that we ran into Club Soda Kenny, the incredible Club Soda Kenny, who took us backstage and we got to meet Bob Odenkirk and we got to say hi to Bill Burr. It was an amazing night. So that was kind of our big... Birthday celebration night, and then today nice performing together tonight, so it's very fun.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, let's make soft He really is he has such a prickly exterior and like eyes that do look like he could lock a door with them but in on the inside he's Just the best he's a man's man
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I make him so uncomfortable when I say nice things about him.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Wow. I think we've gotten better now that we're together.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Usually we'll just both do a smoothie.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Fucking ketchup in there somehow. Sundays usually we'll order pizza. Not for breakfast. Like, we'll both fly in on a Sunday. That would take all of our not trash credits away. That's right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Chad will never unpack.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I have to unpack fast now because I just started, he started packing his slippers with him. I started packing my pillow with me, like my good pillow from home. I'm bringing my full, because all these hotels, it's different pillows and it really messes up.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
It's just on one half and I can squish it down. I can put stuff on top of it and zip that compartment. It actually, it works better than I thought it would. It's like not taking up too much space.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No. You shouldn't. The way you are with hotel carpets, and I feel that way about planes. Of course. I'm just like, I don't want anything that's going to be touching my face. I agree. Touching the plane stuff.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
On the bed. That's a different question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Normal amount of pillows. Two to four. One for me... One to two for me. We're not one of the people that has like 50 decorative pillows, but he, there have to be. I went through a pillow phase. There have to be 40 pillows.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I wish we cuddled more, but Chad is a very like, the second I get in bed... Don't touch me! Literally, the bed is for sleep, don't touch me, don't... It's like a very cuddle-free zone. He's like, the couch is for cuddles, the bed is for sleep. I don't hate that!
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
They're like bedside, but we're not the people who like sit and just scroll TikTok before bed. We try to be good about like not looking at blue light before bed.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, a hatch alarm clock. Yeah, we have one too. Okay, they're great.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, there's like a. Ours has like a little sun in it.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I'm not bougie. It's like an Alexa, but an alarm clock. Okay. And it can give you different soundscapes and lightscapes and all this stuff. And there are different programs or whatever to help you fall asleep. So there will be like a 10-minute meditation relaxation thing.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
And Chad cannot stand it. Watch Chad's.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
This is a man who dips his roast beef sandwiches in ketchup. like a pond of ketchup, and he's getting driven gate to gate in a porch. It's such a weird dichotomy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, and they, like, cabinet kind of stuff in the kitchen, but... Oh, yeah, but any... Put cabinets in?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No, but you've dealt with... I mean, him growing up in Minnesota, that's more tick country, I feel like.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, really tired all the time.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah. I don't like them. Jesus. They're so small. They're much smaller than I thought they would be, too. I kept... Sneaky.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, so this wasn't a solo trip. Not a solo trip. Oh, okay. I think that's a little different.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
He's so good. I know. I can tell you're good. Anytime you ask him something, he goes, it's okay. Just know that means it's like the best. What do you shoot?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I know. I'm like, can you be careful? Our address is 34...
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yes. That's something I used to do that you made fun of me for on the podcast with mayo.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, it's gotten so much better this past year. I saw that, yeah. This has been the greatest food year for me. I retested my peanut allergy. I'm not allergic to peanuts anymore. There you go. I can have dairy again. I can have bread again. But for like 10, 15 years, it was like no pizza, no burgers, nothing with peanuts. And now I'm just eating everything that's the greatest.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No, it's a local spot.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I didn't know that that was bigger than Minnesota.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Huh. The Chad Daniels rule book is impossible to keep. I mean, I've tried. You don't know. My wife says the same thing about me.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
We, at the end of this past year, went to Europe for two weeks. We didn't work. We didn't book shows. We went to Dublin, London, and Paris. You guys are classy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Not my first time, but it was my first time in Dublin, and it was your first time everywhere.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
No, we ended up actually eating a lot of Italian food.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
It's so funny. Yeah, yeah. And, like, Parisian food in Ireland, too. They're all so close to each other.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, the pastries. Oh, my God. We just do everything.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
It's done so well, yeah.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Not with the neighbors, but we do both have a really good group of friends in our lives that are not in entertainment at all. Do you guys have it together? Lifelong friends.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, we have joint friends in.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Look at you. This is the greatest.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, yes. That was you with the Cadbury's? Yes, the Cadbury eggs. Oh, my God, you guys. Unbelievable. It was so good. We got to change your algorithm. It was very homey, very cozy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Get them on board. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll send you the recipe. It was just a reel I found and decided to make them, and Jesus, they were unreal. My only gripe, only gripe.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, I don't know if I have.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Better than Cadbury. Yes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
You're fucking crazy. Tell them what you used to do with Oreos.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
There's no light in your eyes.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah. I'm going to be in Tacoma at the end of the month. And then Portland, Atlanta, San Antonio, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Pittsburgh. And then I'm about to announce fall dates. So they're at KelseyCook.com.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
It's usually Whole Foods.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, it's like the Applegate.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
I know. Cattle dies surrounded by Kraft singles. You can't get them away from him.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Well, we'll do it together. Sometimes if one of us is near it, then we'll just go do it by ourselves. The whole order?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, I don't know. We do try to get in and out. Chad is... I would peg Chad as not a cart kind of guy.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Sometimes I'm going by myself more often now because Chad has His spazzes in public are kind of off the charts. Wait, really?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
You guys don't really have that. People going through giant things of liquids.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So, Chad is a very efficient man. My complaints are just always he has such a low tolerance for anybody's nonsense. My man. Anybody not.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Anybody doing something that he just feels like they should have been raised better, which, I mean, like you're in an airport, you're on a plane, you're going to run into raccoon people. It's just like this is the nature. I'm there. Yeah, Foley's there. It's just how it is. So I know you guys have kind of like an infamous fart story, right, with the Ozempic. Sure, they were burps.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Oh, burps, burps, that's right.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Is that a smell coming out of your mouth?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So Chad and I were on a plane together last year, and somebody in our section would not stop farting. Really? Like, I'm talking 30 straight minutes. Wow. Of ripping ass. Yeah, look at his pulse, just the PTSD from this. So he at first, Chad turned to me and was like, is that you? Which I'm like, listen, come on.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yo, you ripping ass over here?
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
So this person keeps farting. Chad took his headphones off, got up a little bit, and shouted to our entire section, Hey! You stink! Go to the bathroom and take care of it! And I'm like... Wanted to flush myself out of the airplane toilet. I'm just such a non-confrontational person, and he's just so comfortable policing, like being a dad to anybody.
Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Yeah, we both. We, like, figure out our flights. We figure out hotel together. Nobody's, like, it's not one person taking charge.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
An IUD can stay in you for eight years. So after they're done, the nurse hands you a sticker with a date on it of eight years from that day so you know when to replace it. So I just pop that on my windshield next to my oil change sticker. Where else am I going to put that thing? I got one that says Valvoline, one that says Vulvaline. Just keep an eye.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
Like, do I want the biggest amount of fame, the whatever, all that stuff. And knowing that with that can also come a lifestyle that I also don't really want. So kind of trying to find that balance of like, I, of course, want to just keep getting better and better at stand-up and growing my fan base.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
But knowing that I like... I mean, I love living in Minnesota and having this very normal life when I'm not on tour and playing pickleball with my boyfriend during the day. I like... the balance I have in my life. And so, yeah, just trying to figure out, like, what I ultimately want, I guess.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny because I, uh, had looked up to my boyfriend for so long in comedy because I just so admired that he had achieved the goals he wanted to and stand up without having to like live a life that he didn't want to, you know, he, he didn't come up in LA, didn't come up in New York. He has stayed in Minnesota. There's a whole time where he's from originally. And, um,
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
had his netflix special come out last year like he is and now he's like selling all his shows and i uh just was like wow that's such a cool life and i was like well no i'm yeah i'm with him forever so it's great it's like the best they they're like a little incubator over there in minnesota oh i know i have family up there in minneapolis my husband's brother and his family live up there and
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
Yeah. I mean, it's exactly what you said. The winters are insane. Yeah. And like... Make you feel like I can't be alive right now. This is like minus 18 feels like minus 26. I can't even step outside. Yeah, your eyelashes just like snap off. I mean, it's like not normal living conditions for a human being. Our poor dog when he has to go outside. To shit in that weather. It's like a power poop.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
It's like you've never seen a dog poop so fast. It's like sprints, poops, sprints back in. It's just insanity. So, but yeah, and it's like also such a great city to tour out of. If like touring is your primary thing.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
thing in your career it's like Minneapolis is very central it's a lot of non-stop flights the time zone change isn't crazy either way and so yeah I never thought that that would be like a smart move you don't think like you go to Minneapolis and your career flourishes but um LA is like a very hard city to tour out of it's you're so far in the corner going to New York is like a five-hour flight it's miserable it's a miserable flight
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
Yeah, three hour time chain. It's just a lot. So it's weird that you don't think of Minneapolis as being this like glitzy place for a career, but it actually like... Hey, Prince.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
I haven't been, but I've been told I need to go. She's living here, so.
The Commercial Break
TCB Infomercial: Kelsey Cook Returns!
Yeah, you know, I am mild mannered. But it's kind of like what I said in the joke that it wasn't until my 30s that that switch kind of flipped. And I don't know if it's like a primal change. caveman thing where once I was with Chad and you know it's like you get a little bit older and I think you you can tell that like death is not this is dark to say but like death is not it's not this like
The Commercial Break
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Thing that you're just like, oh, yeah. So it's like you get a little older and you meet the person that you're like, oh, this is this is my forever person. And then there is, at least for me, something set in of like, I need to like, again, mark my territory, like guard this person.
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And, uh, and of course, because he's also like a touring comedian, he has tons of fans. Women love him. I, you know, talked on the special about how I had that crowd rec clip go viral of this woman who was like, Oh my, he's your boyfriend's my favorite comedian. He's so hot and all this stuff. And, uh, it's like, it's hard. You, you want your boyfriend to be desirable, right?
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Cause that's a nice feeling. And like other women find him so attractive, but like,
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I do, too, which I think is like a very good sign that I'm like, no, like this is I love him so much. I care so much about us and him that I don't want anything getting in the middle of it. Yeah, I just Yeah, it's like a good sign. I think it comes from a place of passion. I mean, it's not like a psycho place.
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It's just more of a like, oh, this is a feeling I like didn't know that I was going to feel so strongly.
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A bloody knife. Yeah, I just... I do think you get older and it changes.
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You know, here's the thing. Don't apologize for her.
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It was a bad thing. I learned more about her afterward because, you know, when I had posted that clip, and it has like 15 million views. It's like insane. And she had commented being like, you know, I truly meant no disrespect. What she had meant by all of that... was that she went to one of Chad's shows and her mom had passed away shortly before she went to one of his shows.
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And in, like, the merch line afterwards, she had told Chad, like, how much that show meant to her. Like, it might have, I think, maybe been the first time she had laughed since something like that had happened. And that he was just like, oh, I'm so sorry that you've gone through that. Thank you for telling me that. And so that was, like...
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I think a lot of where her, her love for him was coming from. But she, you know, I think had probably had some drinks at that, at my show and just was like getting pretty excited. But again, it's like,
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it's like that old Patrice O'Neill joke where it's like, you don't want to be with somebody who you, like, could send down the back alley in the middle of the night and, like, not worry about anybody, like, hitting on them or whatever. It's like, there is part of you that wants your partner. Yes, of course, of course. But yeah, she.
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There was zero ill intent. I mean, her husband's sitting right there. Also, like, I don't know what it's like to be an audience member and have a comic talking to, I mean, it's like a lot of adrenaline, I'm sure. And it's not planned.
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And you're just kind of like going with, I'm sure if I was in like the reverse situation, I might at some time in my life say something where I like put my foot in my mouth. We just, it's hard to be on the other end of it, right?
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Right. Yeah. But yeah, I think also part of like feeling more protective of him and us is like, I moved to Minnesota in the month of January to live with this man. Like, we have life insurance. We bought a house together. The taxes? Oh my God, the state taxes or something. It's like, there is, it's just a different level of protection. of seriousness, I guess. And like, yeah, I don't know.
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No, we do want to get married. We've just done everything so backwards that it's... I mean, which we've loved and it's been fun and great. But we bought a house, then we got life insurance. And it's kind of fun to know that this is it forever and know that we do want to get married. But like... There's still some fun things left that haven't happened yet, right? Yeah.
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I'm excited for us to get engaged and get married because we have already checked off some of the big things. And once you do them, it's kind of like you checked it off. Buying a house together is such a fun, cool thing to do. And once you do it, you're like, okay, we did it. And I think having those things to look forward to is kind of like a fun, healthy thing. Oh, definitely.
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We're locked up. But yeah, it is exciting to think about that happening.
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I shot it in Madison, Wisconsin at Comedy on State.
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Yeah, we did one night and two shows in that night.
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So I have also never done this before. And I think it's something pretty new that Hulu's trying. There are pros and cons to it, right? If you have something come out on one platform, every audience member that's watching it is going to that one place, right? Like the views aren't getting divided up. So that is one downside is like, you know, the Hulu views aren't public.
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Like even I don't know what the views are yet now that it's been out for a couple weeks.
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But the upside is if you are putting a special out exclusively on YouTube, there are a lot of like bigger press outlets that wouldn't have you on to promote it if it's just a YouTube special. But as soon as a streamer is involved, then people go, okay, like, well, now we'll have you on.
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The commercial break, you guys were like, look, we like you. We can't have you do this YouTube thing again.
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So, like, it's been a little bit of a learning process of seeing, okay, like, this is something I like about doing it like this. This is something I kind of don't like. But I can't say yet what I'm about to do, but I'm about to do a big press thing in, like, a week and a half that wouldn't – It wouldn't have been possible if we didn't also have it come out on Hulu the same day. So, yeah.
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Oh, thank you. Yeah, I feel very, very fortunate that that's been the case. It's just really nice to read such nice things. And yeah, that's, again, put that in the column of...
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upsides for putting it on youtube is that you do get to see positive feedback and you do get to interact with the people who are watching it and uh that means a lot to me so yeah it's like it's ultimately you just want as many eyeballs on it as possible because i think most of us comics the thing we want uh at the end of the day is for people to come see us on tour.
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So it's like, whether you watched it on a Hulu or YouTube, if you watched it and you were like, oh, I want to see her live, then we're like, great, that's a win.
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Right, exactly. Yeah. So it's, like I said, been a learning experience. What a weird world we live in.
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Yeah, exactly. Because again, it's not like a Netflix deal where you're getting this big paycheck up front, or even like a Hulu exclusive deal where you're getting a big paycheck. It is like a... you know, a situation where they are licensing it, they're putting it up there, but you're also putting it on YouTube.
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So you're mostly in this particular situation, like, okay, how do we get it seen by a lot of people and then drive ticket sales? But, you know, my last special, The Hustler on YouTube, it only went on YouTube to start and it has almost 4 million views now. It's like crazy what YouTube- And I had like no expectation. You know, it was my first special. I was like, well, I've been on YouTube.
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Let's see. That changed my life. It completely changed my touring. It's just nuts what the power of YouTube is now.
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Oh, tell me some places. I would maybe tell you a couple.
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Do you really want to know places I don't like to be?
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Well, the... I will say one place that I like, I truly was like, you know what? I don't think I could go back here. This was just like a very tough experience. But I think understandably that I wouldn't want to go back. I did the Syracuse Funny Bone. Gosh, this is like maybe two, three years ago. And it's in a mall. And right before the show was about to start, there was a shooting in the mall.
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And the manager came back to the green room and was like, okay, there's an active shooter in the mall. And when you hear the words active shooter.
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you picture trench coat like yes that like there's no in particular target that like it's just you know what i mean and so i i start crying there i'm terrified i'm like this is these are the things you read the news in and you go i just hope i'm never in that situation and there's somebody telling you like you're in the situation right now like there's a you're in the mall there's an active shooter oh my god and so um
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The mall got evacuated. Show got canceled. We found out later that it was like a gang shooting. It was targeted. It wasn't like active shooter was a little bit of this.
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And I was just like the place where the shooting happened. I was just walking in that area of the mall like 30 minutes before that. And so it's this is not like a dig to the people of Syracuse because I am sure like the crowds there would be fun. I think I had done like maybe two shows the night before that. And I think I had a fine time.
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But I looked online after the shooting and turns out like there are shootings in that mall like every month. And I just was like, yeah, you know. Yeah.
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i just i can go to twin falls sure yeah it's like buffalo maybe i'd go back and do a different venue but that was when i was like that i just yeah not too much to worry about anyway i don't want to go to a place where there's like you have ptsd yeah and and i think it doesn't matter whether or not it was a targeted shooting it to me it wouldn't matter or not i don't
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You know, I could probably be a little more strategic about that with my agent.
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This was my first winter in Minnesota that it really felt like what people describe as a true Minnesota winter. Those temperatures, I just didn't believe that that was happening in the U.S. Wasn't it minus 20 or something?
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Yeah. Chad is from Fergus Falls, which is this town. I love the name Fergus Falls. Fergus Falls. So cute. It is very cute.
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Chad from Fergus Falls. It sounds like something from like Schitt's Creek, right? It's very wholesome sounding. So it's in northern Minnesota. And I guess a while ago, there was a polar vortex there where it was like minus 50. It's like something crazy. And he said that if you touch the doorknob of your house, but from the inside that it would burn your hand. Oh, my God. From the inside. What?
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It's yeah. Spokane is very seasonal. It gets cold in the winter. We have snow, but not, not like that. It feels like minus 26.
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Yeah, the timing of this actually worked out really well where once Mark Your Territory came out a couple weeks ago. it had been 10 months since I shot it. And so it gave me that amount of time to get a new hour put together.
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And so the hour I'm touring with right now is all completely different from the special, which is nice to be able to tell people when they comment like, Oh, like I want to watch the special, but I have tickets to see you. Can I watch this special? And I'm like, yes, you can watch it and you can see me. It's totally different. So that's,
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It's hard sometimes when you shoot a special and you're like, oh, my God, I want it out right now. But then you you probably would not have a new hour ready. So it's kind of like finding that perfect spot strategy.
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it's really yeah and i don't think it was always like this i feel like this has been a really big shift in maybe the last 10 years where it became this expectation that you're putting out a new hour every like one to two years and it's like you're right i feel like that's been a change from the days of eddie murphy or different other comedians from back in the 70s 80s could do the same thing a lot i know
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Like some of our favorite artists, like Rihanna's been talking about putting an album out now, and I think it's been like eight years, maybe longer, like a decade. You're so right. Yeah. Like Justin Timberlake put his album out last year, and that had been, I think, almost a decade or something. It's just crazy. Like, that's...
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what is expected that they get this time to like be inspired and live life. And comics are just like desperately trying to like scrounge up material where we can find it. And, uh, but you know, it's kind of, I think it's like a muscle that if you have that pressure and expectation in your mind, you do kind of somehow come up with it. And I don't know. We're all just doing our best, I guess.
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My stairway to heaven, my black dog. You're so right that it's social media too, where our specials, we end up like kind of cannibalizing them and turning them into clips immediately because we're trying to get people to watch the special and we're trying to get into the algorithm and push tour tickets.
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And so you can take like an hour special and essentially turn it into 60 clips, you know, that would be kind of a lot. But, but once you run out, you're like, oh, I need to shoot another special because I don't have new clips.
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It's like that's also a really big part of it is unless you're relying heavily on like crowd work clips or podcast clips, having new special clips really like infuses your channels with like new lifeblood. Like, oh my God, yes, I have something new to post. More, yes. Yeah, I mean, it's a sickness. It's like, it's...
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Oh, I just say Chad and I have a few tour dates together in April.
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That we're doing for the first time. So we'll be in Long Island, Montclair, New Jersey, and Philly doing a couple theaters and a casino. So, yeah, please come see us there. We're really excited for that.
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Oh, thank you. We're boring now. We've both been sober for like almost a year, but... We talked about this the last time you were here. Congratulations. I bet you feel great. We do. I mean, it's... You get older and you're like, it's too much. I can't. I'm already just tired from not sleeping right anyway. It's hard to add hangovers to it.
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Yes, totally. I feel the exact same way. It's hard to actually be like, okay, am I really going to stop doing this completely? But it does feel so good that it's, I don't know, it hasn't been quite as hard as I thought.
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You guys are so nice. It's always really nice to talk to you, truly. Thank you for having me back on.
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Oh, thanks, guys. Thank you. Thanks again. Yeah, have a good one, okay?
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I told my dad about the sticker thing, and he goes, well, that's interesting. I wonder if it works the same way as a car where it goes by either the date or the mileage. Yeah. On this episode of The Commercial Break.
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Kelsey, welcome back. Yay. Hi, guys. Thanks for having me back.
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Starte dein Test nur heute für 1 Euro pro Monat auf shopify.de slash radio.
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Kelsey, welcome back. Hi, guys. Thanks for having me back.
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That's a good question. I'm trying to stop and smell the roses and all of that because, uh, this business is really that way where if you don't, it's like once you get there, there disappears, right? It's like you get to where you're trying to get to and then you're like, okay, now what? And you're always just looking for the next thing.
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But it's just, that's such a slippery slope into not being happy because, uh, there is kind of no limit in this career. It's like you see the people at the top of the mountain and stand up and it's like, oh my God, it's such a different thing now. It's like you become a full rock star, essentially. And so I think it's really easy to feel like you're never doing enough.
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And I have really been trying hard to be like, okay, this is so cool. Like, Especially if there are bucket list things happening. I'm like, I need to really stop and appreciate this because this is a really great feeling.
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Absolutely. Yeah, I have to just because I'll feel like gross if I don't correct you. We didn't sell it out. But a lot of people came and it was great. But I can't just be like, yeah, we sold out. We didn't sell that one out. But there have been a lot of sold out shows on tour so far, which has felt great. But yeah, getting to do the Wilbur was awesome.
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I mean, that's just such like an iconic venue. And, um, the last time I was in Boston was at the comedy club and we had sold out that whole weekend. And so I think that was a really great feeling of like, okay, I did kind of the best I could do at the club. And now because of that, I'm getting to do this bucket list thing.
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And that like when you can see those changes in your career, uh, like getting to do theaters has been the coolest feeling.
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Oh, my gosh. There's plenty of shitty people who succeed in this business. Don't you worry about it. Thank you. Don't worry.
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They're at the top of the hill. They're really crushing it. I mean, a couple people that come to mind right away are obviously like Taylor Tomlinson, who's one of my best friends, and Nikki Glaser, also one of my friends, having this massive moment right now. And Seeing the level of work that those two put in is truly mind-blowing.
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It's like, you know, I look at Taylor, who's hosting after midnight during the day, right? And then touring on the weekends, and it's like, she actually does not have... Free time. It is like... She doesn't have a light. She is constantly grinding, and it's just so impressive, and I'm so proud of her because it does... I don't know.
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It just makes you go, oh, wow, that is possible to be excelling at that level. So... And I think that's what I mean before where the sky's the limit now in stand-up. People are doing so much beyond just touring. And I think I've had to... maybe like recalibrate my goals a little bit and be like, okay, what is actually important to me?