Kermit the Frog

Now's a good time to remember where tequila's story truly began. In 1795, Cuervo invented tequila. Cuervo. What are you doing here?

New York put you on the map. You don't run bleep. We put you on the map, whether it's Wally Zerbiak saying he's overrated, whether it's his performance against the Knicks a year ago, whether it's the Knicks choking one in game one, allowing him to again be the villain with the choke sign. Without New York, nobody gives a crap about you, Tyrese Halliburton. You don't run squat.

Here's what you better hope you run. You better hope you don't run into a buzzsaw in the thunder in the finals. Because beating the Knicks is not the trophy that you should be trying to get here. You've done that now a couple of times. So stop with the I run New York stuff. Stop with your girlfriend on social media. Go New York. Go New York. Go home. Enough. Without New York, you're nothing.

We made you. We run you!

All right, y'all. The Super Bowl is in the rearview mirror. The draft has come and gone.

Exactly. And look, just because the pads are off doesn't mean game day stops. Around here, we do game days, even in the offseason. And what better way to do that than with a cold drink and your people around? You've heard it all season long.

There is no I in fandom, baby. So grab your crew, grab some Smirnoff, and get into that off-season groove. Summer workouts, training camp rumors, fantasy football prep. It's all coming, folks.

Smirnoff isn't just a vodka. It's the number one vodka in the world and the official partner of the NFL. Grab a bottle of Smirnoff at your local retailer and head to Smirnoff.com to find recipes of delicious cocktails perfect for game day. Please drink responsibly. Smirnoff, number 21 vodka, distilled from grain, 40% alcohol by volume. The Smirnoff Company, New York, New York.

Please do not share with anyone under legal drinking age.

Auf easy. Auf Rookie Mode. Das ist, was er da macht. Es ist spektakulär. Es ist verrückt. Aber die Fußball-Saison ist so lang. Und es ist so... early in the season that maybe, you know, he's not getting the attention he deserves, but he's out here doing robot shit, bro. It is insane. It is like AI baseball.

Like, yo, Chad GPT, can you make the best baseball player ever in the world and make him biracial? You know what I'm saying? With broad appeal.

He's doing it in Boston, man. That is what gives him a slight edge, bro. It's in Boston. We all hate Boston. I think everybody in the Zoom can be like enjoy hands and shake hands and be like, yo, we all hate Boston. Nobody likes Boston, bro. Two people like Boston, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Das ist es, weißt du was ich meine? Keine Ahnung, sie mag Boston auch, aber das ist es.

Weißt du was ich meine? Niemand anderes mag Boston. Guck mal, er hat ein Nicks-Jersey an. Weißt du was ich meine? Notorious Hater, ich meine, er hat ein Nicks-Jersey an, Bro. Er ist unser Unterstützter, er ist unser Lieblingsspieler, weißt du was ich meine? Jalen Brunson ist er. Weißt du was ich meine?

Jalen Brunson ist er, wie du gesagt hast, er macht es in den Playoffs, er macht es in Boston, in dem am meisten geliebten Ort, dem Fake Garden, Bro. Er ist da drüben, der alle schlägt, und er hat die gleiche Höhe. Er ist 6'2". You know what I'm saying? He shouldn't even be doing this. Bro, he's embarrassing Jason Tatum, dog. Come on, stop it. Stop it. He's the king of New York right now.

That's it.

Das ist der Nummer eins liebste Nick aller Zeiten, egal was. Weißt du, was ich meine? Ehrlich und wie Lügen, wie Lügen, wie Lügen, wie Lügen, wie Lügen, wie Lügen. Der vierjährige Mann, Nick, der Fan für immer, hat stürmisch gespürt. Er hat nur gesehen, wie Jamal Crawford die Leute in 2006 aufgelöst hat. Ich hoffe, dass wir das vielleicht befreien. Ich meine, diese Jungs sind Pat Ewing-Jungs.

Ich sage dir das jetzt.

In the moment. In the moment, right. Because now it's a different generation. I mean, back in the day, you know, you couldn't just tweet at Patrick Ewing. You know what I'm saying? I'm sure if there was social media back then, the hate versus love would be more balanced. You know what I'm saying? There would definitely be a lot of Pat Ewing Glazers. Yeah, hell yeah.

If they had Twitter back then in the 90s, they would be like, hashtag Pat Ewing is the greatest. You know what I'm saying? Like, hashtag Hoyas New York legend. You know? Hashtag Dunkin'. 8.9 Sekunden.

Oh boy.

Das war's für heute. Bis zum nächsten Mal.

New York loves an underdog story.

Und es ist lecker. Es ist lecker. Es ist wie mein Kaffee am Morgen, Bro. Es schlägt wie ein Krack. Bro, ich habe es in meinen Vagina. Weißt du, was ich meine?

Ranken sie für mich. Oh, wow. LJ, Jalen, Allen Houston. Das war in dem Moment, aber in meiner Meinung war es so, dass wir nicht alles gewinnen. Wir gehen nicht alle Wege. Auch als Kind in 1999 wusste ich, dass wir einen Rund machen werden, aber wir gehen nicht alle Wege, weil die Spurs unabhängig sind. Wir waren nicht bereit. Wir hatten Pat. Es war eine kurze Saison.

Es war so, wie wenn Leute über die Bubble-Wettbewerbe argumentieren. Es war so... LJ hat vier Punkte gespielt? Das ist verrückt. Auch wenn es die gleiche Situation war. Es war nur die Energie. Es war im Garten. Es sollte nicht passieren. LJ nicht kennengelernt für Schusszüge, weißt du was ich meine? Nichts von dem sollte passieren. Und dann ist es passiert.

Und die Art und Weise, wie die Arena überflutet ist. Ich denke, ich hatte vielleicht nur einen anderen Art von sexuellen Erfahrung mit einer Mädchen zum ersten Mal. Also ich weiß nicht, ob ich diese zwei Dinge verabschiede. Aber es war ein besonderer Zeitpunkt in meinem Leben. Weißt du, was ich meine? Also es zählt viel.

Oh, that's wild. We can't do that.

You can't do it. It's strange, right? It's not allowed, bro. You can buy some Star Wars-branded thing, like an iced tea. You can't walk around like Chewbacca all day. Yeah, that's wild. That's OD. Like, if you go to work with, like, a lightsaber, come on, gang.

Come on. Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? You gotta wear a clear bag to work, because you got all kinds of accoutrement, like, weird wrinkly skin to be like, I'm Yoda. Like, bro, cut it out. We're all going to Burger King for lunch.

Das ist richtig. Das ist richtig. Das ist Al Horford und Karl-Anthony Tausz. Sie gehen an es und sie performen es, Baby. Wir sind in der NBA repräsentiert.

Yes, sir.

No, no, no, because we have not yet seen the heights that Carl Anthony Towns can reach. We know what we got. We got a closer in Jalen Brunson. And like you said, you can't be the underdog and be a giant. And this guy wears size 21 shoes, which is very large. You know what I'm saying? But my Dominican-ness prevents me.

Weil er den größten Fuss im NBA hat. Das habe ich gehört.

Ja. Wenn du in jeder Kategorie der Dominikaner Nummer eins sein kannst, dann zeige ich dir das. Er hat den größten Fuss im NBA, also ist er Nummer eins in Fußgröße. Wahrscheinlich ist er auch Nummer 1 im Schussprozentsatz für alle über 7 Fuß. Das ist verrückt.

Es hängt davon ab, wo du in New York bist. Oh, okay. Es hängt davon ab, wo du in New York bist. Wenn du in Deichmann bist... Vergiss es, Bruder. Der ist super cool. Sag mir, was du willst, Bruder. Gib mir Luft, gib mir Luft.

Lecker, Mann. 2-0. Boston, runter. Du weißt, was du willst. Ryan Terrier klingt wie ein Serial.

Es ist passend. Es ist passend.

Es ist passend. Es ist passend.

Listen to me. If you take Carl Anthony Towns, Uptown, Washington Heights, Dykeman area, he is more popular than Jalen Brunson. Just for the simple fact that he is a star for the Knicks. Like you said, the second best player on the team. Well known. You know what I'm saying? I would say, like, let's look at the jersey sales. You know what I'm saying? Because I know You know what I'm saying?

If there was like a temperature map of Jersey sales, it is lava red.

We trust Bridges and I don't care. I'll say it here. I know we're not supposed to curse you. I'm going to edit this out. F*** them pics, bro. I do not care. I do not care. I don't care if there's the best 6th grader in the world out there right now that they made in their lab and he's a combination of Shaq and KD and Steph Curry. I don't care.

After picks, Mikael Bridges won us those last two games with clutch defense in crunch time, bro. When is the last time you heard the Knicks won the game in crunch time with defense? When's the last time you heard that, bro? Patrick Ewing days, bro. The 90s. You know what I'm saying? And now we're back. Er hat die Frage nicht beantwortet. Er hat die Frage nicht beantwortet.

Er hat die Frage nicht beantwortet. Er hat die Frage nicht beantwortet.

You know what I'm saying? Like, that guy is dunking everything. It's like the opposite of Pat. You know what I'm saying? Like, instead of doing a layup, this guy is dunking everything. I thought he was going to hurt himself, dog. In that Sistine Chapel dunk, where he just was like this.

Listen, there's two different guys. Two different styles of play. My dad has a counter for you on that. You sound like my father there.

I did not expect this from a fellow Dominican. I did not expect to be cornered. You know what I'm saying? I have to fight a flight my way out of this interview. You know what I'm saying? I did not expect that.

Auf ihren Peaks.

Auf ihren Peaks. Haben wir Jalen Brunson's Peak gesehen? Wir haben ihn nicht mal in den Kampfspiegels gesehen.

He can speak for me.

Come here, Brugal. Listen, so yes, in terms of popularity, because of the way the world is structured today, Jalen Brunson is more popular than Carmelo Anthony. I said that qualifier in front of it to confuse y'all so that it doesn't look like I'm saying anything slanderous. You don't want to be aggregated.

Ja. Weißt du, was verrückt ist? Ich denke, Jalen hat Melos Popularität geholfen. Nick-Fans wollen immer einen Nick. Und Melo kam hier, als es so war, okay, Bruder, was machen wir? Und wir hatten ein sehr... Hör auf, 2012, 2013. Vergesst nicht. Weißt du, was ich meine? Er spielt die Post-Ball. Er ist in der Post, er spielt unter den Rippen, er ist einfach ein Step Back 3.

Der Schuss, den Detroit zu senden,

Das ist wahr. Aber das ist das Ding. Momente zählen fast mehr als ein Chip. Weil, haben die Jänker die Weltmeisterschaft gestern gewonnen? Nein, sie haben sie nicht gewonnen. Aber jeder erinnert sich daran, dass Juan Soto sie sendet, gegen Cleveland. Weißt du, was ich meine?

Let's go down.

Musik Musik Musik Musik Musik

This is the Dan Levitar Show with the Stugatz Podcast.

The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank N.A. Pursuant to license by MasterCard International Incorporated. Dosh cash back terms apply.

That segment just started with you saying, I just thought it was funny. No one knows what you're talking about. I'm not sure if you should say what you thought was funny, what's going on.

He's making fun of me for how I acted at my daughter's kindergarten graduation, and it is the least controversial thing ever. When my daughter was called, wall of videos going on, I'm like, yeah! That's it. It wasn't louder than that. It wasn't any other words.

No, every parent, when it's their kid, you give a little something extra for your person.

Coming from the guy who, when I was a baseball player, had a look at me, Louie, let's go, Christopher! Christopher! My friend Jess, to this day, still says, hey, what's up, Christopher?

He didn't call anyone else Christopher. Let's go, Christopher! But he always emphasized, it was like a very, everyone knew his call for me.

Right, he did exactly what I did, which was just for his kid, give a little something extra.

I don't understand this relationship. Do you want your father not to love you? No, he's criticizing me for how I reacted to my daughter. Well, parental decorum. There's a difference between a baseball game and a graduation. Okay, exactly. Greg gets me.

We're sending Billy the audio to his email. I've sent in the audio, so he should have it soon.

Because my daughter is hearing 50 kids before her get wooed, and then she gets her name called, and what if she just hears nothing? Golf clap. I'm telling you, by the 30th kid, I am mailing in this clap. That's the thing that's more interesting to me. Everyone's giving their kid the woo. It's what do you give the other 104 kids? Not everybody gave a woo.

Because by kid 32, I'm barely making a noise with this clap.

This guy snuck out the back door like 20 minutes into the ceremony. Didn't even see his... The woo that I did for my daughter, you weren't even there for. I know, but I heard it on tape.

No, you don't woo. Yes, you do. Everyone woo. It's such an odd thing to make fun of.

It metastasizes. You didn't give Claire a woo?

What's the phone in the hand have to do? I guarantee you I need wooed.

No, there are a lot of Hispanic kids at this school. I was probably not in the top 30 in terms of like, there were plenty of people where the whole family went crazy.

Yeah, exactly.

Whereas she heard my woo. Okay.

I get that. You think my daughter would rather hear me go like... Like just loudly crying? Everybody woos. Do you have my woo, Billy? Tony's top five. It's a heck of a woo. Oh, man. I'm telling you, though, there's nothing crazy about my woo.

Well, we were sitting with other parent friends of ours, so it might have been the dad of one of my friends. Suck it up to you.

You scratch your friend's back.

There is nothing mock-worthy there. That is just a parent celebrating their child.

Nothing I did wrong there. No, you didn't.

If your family was weeping, then they did it right. You want people loudly weeping.

Well, you know, sometimes they will say, like, please hold your applause to the end. They'll tell you, don't cause a scene. Did they do that before?

There was no announcement like that.

No.

Yeah. Should have been.

Everyone was real respectful. I think if somebody was over cheering and then a name wasn't heard, that's when you come in with the announcement. Everyone was just in and out with the cheer.

You would have gone, whoop.

What do you do?

I just want to explain who he is. I just want to explain who he is.

No.

Success is when you close the deal.

No, no, no.

Sounds like you want to come on the Panthers.

You've got to win. I'm just happy to be here. I think that it's our conference, regardless of what happens here. I know it's a loser's mentality, and it maybe speaks to, like, Roy's been in this game longer than I have with the Panthers, so I'm kind of just, like, new money in here, just enjoying this. To me, this is fun. I'm having fun going to all the games, being a season ticket holder.

So I'm kind of good. I know that's a shitty thing to say. I won't be that upset if we lose this series. I'm going to be happy knowing that it's our Eastern Conference two years in a row regardless. So it does feel a little like house money to me. I know that's a terrible loser's mentality.

So would I. Any of my teams. Can you guarantee right now that we're going to be where we're at right now the next two following seasons? I guess if you say we're not winning any of them, that—

It's a weird question to ask.

Not that we want to have him right now. There are some interesting decisions this team has in the offseason with Montour.

Yeah, Reinhardt. It's going to be interesting. And to that point, I don't know if the roster will be as deep next year. I'm so excited. Now or never, then, you're saying.

He got here kind of after the fan base had kind of been galvanized and excited about this team. We were the President's Cup trophy winner, and then we got him. President's trophy. What did I say?

President's Cup trophy. we were that winner and then we got him. So I feel like the fan base was kind of excited. Controversial trade, right? He didn't see any of the sad Panther times. Like when he was here, we were already kind of, the crowds were decent. So it's like, it's been a real, it's been an easy existence for him here.

I saw a minute montage of him going at it with Oilers as a Calgary. Dude, there were some intense moments.

Did that guy get suspended for that play? Because that was an insane beatdown that he put on.

But this is interesting. How many are the next four or five guys are all Panthers? If we're doing a draft. They're due, I think. The Angels. If we're drafting from these two teams, though, it's McDavid, Dreisaitl, and then a bunch of Panthers.

So it evens out there. The Panthers are a much deeper team.

Who's their third best player?

I don't know about 10, but like at least five or six. It's kind of like the Mavericks and Celtics, right? Barkov, Kachuk, Reinhardt, Verhage, Bob. I feel like those guys are all going before Kane.

He's allowed to have a quiet series.

He was good in the Boston series. I wouldn't be critical of him so far in this playoff.

I feel like you might cry. I think he's trying to fight the urge to cry. Roy, imagine the cup. Imagine the cup being lifted by Marky.

If you did, would you kiss it?

Wow. Really? Yeah.

Are you that confident about us?

Stu B. did his take yesterday.

Chris yesterday said, wouldn't game seven be exciting? It would. Would like I'm not saying I want it like that you can have two different like I want this to be an easy series But if you tell me we get a game seven in our barn.

I just want to say barn again Yeah, that is that's exciting, but you're also fine with them losing the series, so no you just said that you said you'd fine if they lost I

That's true. I'm just going to find the perspective of we're still in. I want them to win. You'll be upset if they lose. Perspective can get the hell out of here.

I'm so sick and tired of being told I need perspective. You want reality? No, I want fandom. That's what I want. I don't want perspective. Fans don't have perspective. Oh, it's so great. We lost, but we got so close winning. Who gives a shit? You lost. No, you lost.

They're also allowed to be appreciative of being in the final two years in a row and having a really good team. No, no.

The point is to win.

Win the cup. Guys, I'm in this.

The further you go, the more it hurts. Exactly right.

Not to be that guy of like, I'm a season ticket holder.

I'd rather not win Prince of Wales trophies.

You know what I mean? This is the long game. This is fun. I'm enjoying watching this team. That matters. If we don't end up winning the final, there's still good feelings to be had about this team. That's true.

Billy just said I have to be like, if we lose, I have to rip people. I can have the perspective of I really want to win, but if we don't, it's okay.

You've been brainwashed into thinking that. You don't need to be appreciative.

Yeah, you could be upset. You could be disappointed. Roy, this series should end in you crying one way or another. Tears of joy or tears of sadness. You need to cry at the end of this series. I'm not crying, Billy. See? Brainwashed. Brainwashed? I just appreciate what Barry Zito put together.

It's still very scary. Game five against the Rangers, I was just at home with a blanket over my head the whole game. It was terrifying. Is that what you do when you're scared? A blanket? I was like, this is a watch at home game. Sometimes I go out for the games. This was one. I just want to be alone. Yes. And it worked. Roy, have you ever cried?

Were you confused? It's the only time you cried. Did you think you were broken? Like you had to go to the shop or something? Like, what is this coming out of my face? Exactly. I'm leaking.

Is it like a car bomb?

That's like a high school punk getting emotional.

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First time I was at Lone Depot. Nuts.

I didn't cry.

I was like, this is a cool stadium. But I wasn't, like, emotional, no.

Exactly right. Walking into the sphere. Will cement fall on my head today? And if so, hopefully it's not too big of a chunk.

Is today the day? Maybe you walking into the sphere, First Ed Show?

I mean, we're live, but quick pause, right? Chris, you or Greg? No, Greg, you better. Well, no, you don't want to go. Chris, you now need to give like a 30-second impassioned speech about how emotional it would be for you to go to a Rhodes Stanley Cup final game in Edmonton with your father on Father's Day. And then we clip this, and then we kind of put it out there.

I don't know if we put it on social or what we do. We find a way to get it to Christy, not with you showing her. And then she sees it, and then she's like, wow, you know what? That would be such a great gift. This is good.

Dad, I've just really, really wanted to spend quality time with you as you age and we've connected over this Panthers team so much and I just think that me and you could really have a bonding experience if we get to Edmonton, you and me, guys night, go to the arena, just enjoy it. I think we would love it together.

Well, we can cut it after I stop talking. Yeah, that's probably about it.

He said later in that video that it's not protein, by the way. The nod only works for non-protein, which is, who wants more? I don't need more guac. I already have a mountain of this guac you put up here.

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Right? I agree. Why are you complaining about it? He's basically saying you can have more if you guys want.

When does your Oilers jersey arrive? Oh, fuck.

I wanted to give you another chance to just like, we're here for you. We forgive you. It's okay.

This guy, he's been a Panthers fan for a year. I thought it was a fun bit. I just see the darkness and the sadness in your eyes, dude. You're allowed to come back. It's okay. You don't need to be scared. You got caught up in the moment.

People might say they don't want you back, but we'll take you back, man. I'm here for you if you want to come back.

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Who won?

Who won the trade between Calgary and Florida? Not the team that didn't make the playoffs.

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You could argue they needed to be smaller.

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You don't get to do that. I know, yeah, yeah.

Oh, hell no. No. I'm actively campaigning not to go. Witty, on the way out here, just come on the Panthers one time for me. On the way out. No, I'm not saying that.

Come on. Come on them.

so dumb traitor traitor yeah witty do you feel good about this do you feel like do you feel good about this is the last question um no I don't I have been miserable every day around hockey for two years but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop now turn the shower on right now you coward yep Turn it on.

Dan Levatard. Kermit the Frog here, live from Metalark Media Studios here in Miami. Stugatz. The Germans are advancing on France in World War II. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugatz.

Don Levitard.

Dan Levatard. Kermit the Frog here, live from Metalark Media Studios here in Miami. Stugatz. The Germans are advancing on France in World War II. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugatz.

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